For
ninjou.
[Tonight, Dazai is really drunk.
This is not different from most other nights in their favorite bar, save for a few things.
1. Ango isn't here.
2. Dazai is really drunk. The kind of drunk that has Odasaku concerned that he might be trying to die through liver failure. That drunk.
And so, it's with hesitation that he speaks up.]
Maybe you should stop drinking for tonight.
This is not different from most other nights in their favorite bar, save for a few things.
1. Ango isn't here.
2. Dazai is really drunk. The kind of drunk that has Odasaku concerned that he might be trying to die through liver failure. That drunk.
And so, it's with hesitation that he speaks up.]
Maybe you should stop drinking for tonight.

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[It's a decent couch, but nothing special. Probably a little uncomfy to sleep on.]
Or you can have my bed if you want.
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I usually sleep on the couch, anyway. It's too hard to make the bed...
[So he stumbles over and flops down face-down.]
Blankets...
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Because he actually will fetch a blanket from his linen closet and carefully put it over you.]
Goodnight.
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I like you, Odasaku. I'm jealous of you. Maybe someday...
[He trails off and snuggles down a little, grip slackening.]
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...I'm sorry you think there's anything to be jealous of.
[There are a few things, maybe. But there are ways Dazai is better off, too.
He pulls away, gently as not to disturb Dazai too much.]
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He's frowning against the pillows, but it can't be seen. He's just turning grumpy as he's lightly sobering. It's not fun, so he feigns sleep to avoid anything further needing to be said. Of course there are so many things to be jealous of.
His conviction. His kindness. His heart. Dazai has nothing. He's trash, and he knows he's trash, but he's talented trash, and that's what matters.]
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In the morning he gets up early. The smell of fried egg is likely to wake Dazai, and he'll find Odasaku in the kitchen cooking an omelette.
It's important to feed house guests, especially ones with hangovers.]
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Still once he's out, he's out. He sleeps hard and half falls off the couch, but he does wake right away when the smell of food hits him. It's nice. It's not something he experiences pretty much ever. Just laying there and enjoying it helps him shake off the latent feelings from the night before. The kiss... he didn't forget. It's fuzzy, but he didn't forget, and he doesn't regret it. He wants to finish the job and make Odasaku understand.
Who knows.
He shoves himself off the couch and takes off his suit jacket and tie, trying to be as comfortable as possible for the confrontation. That's all he can call it.]
Morning...
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[Odasaku's not an expressive person. He doesn't tense up when Dazai speaks to him, or avoid his gaze. To all appearances, everything is normal and fine.]
Did you sleep well?
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I haven't slept like that in a while. What about you?
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[Not great, either. Acceptably.]
I hope you like eggs.
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[Smiling. Just... keep smiling.]
I don't usually get breakfast.
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[He tries not to fuss over Dazai too much, but this is an important, undeniable truth.]
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[Humming thoughtfully, Dazai crosses his arms and looks up at the ceiling. It's not awkward. He swears.]
You'll have to remind me.
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Alright.
[...He doesn't want to breach the subject, but he has to, eventually.]
Do you remember last night at all?
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What, do you mean the part where I kissed you and you completely rejected it? Or the part where I almost slept on your floor?
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...I wasn't going to let you sleep on my floor. But I meant the first part.
[It wasn't a complete rejection. He told Dazai that already.]
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Right. Yes, I remember that. Obviously. Why wouldn't I? I was lucid.
[But see him being good and not acting on it?]
I meant everything I said, too.
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[Odasaku shuts off the stove. He has the feeling this conversation will be distracting, and the omelette was about done anyway.]
I'm paying attention to you.
[So if he still wants to... he can try again.
It's still frightening. But it's something he can't push away with the excuse that he doesn't want to take advantage of his drunk friend this time.]
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If Odasaku looks uneasy at all, Dazai's not going to do this. But he calms, because Odasaku does that to him, and he breathes, because he feels like he has to.]
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If Dazai backed out now, Odasaku wouldn't think any less of him for it. And part of him doesn't know what he'll do if he doesn't back out - not the immediate issue of how to respond to a kiss, because he knows that much, but after, the what-are-we-now and do-we-do-that-again that inevitably follow those things.
But that part isn't too loud right now. Right now he's just... patiently waiting for Dazai to make his choice.]
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Stop thinking so hard. You're going to hurt yourself.
[He doesn't want to back out. He wants to know. Just... he wants to know what it feels like to be that close to someone he genuinely doesn't dislike. Someone he actively likes. A good, solid, principled man, even if he is a little foolish.
Dazai, of course, has no interest in men. Of course. But Odasaku is something wholly different, and... well, it's only a kiss.
He won't back down.
Turning toward Odasaku, he puts a hand on his shoulder and moves him so they'll face each other.]
Tell me to stop if you want me to stop. I have absolutely no authority over you on this one, you know.
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[There are some things he knows he shouldn't let Dazai push him around on. This is one of them. And he wouldn't, even if Dazai didn't say so.]
...But I don't think I will.
[Maybe it's alright to admit that much out loud. Odasaku isn't one to hide things - he just isn't always sure whether it's alright to put them into words.]
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[He doesn't waste much time, but when he leans in, a hand on the side of Odasaku's neck, he's far more gentle and on target than last night. It is soft and warm and chaste, nothing so foolish as before. It's an experiment. It's respectful and cautious and there's only a slight movement of Dazai's lips before he pulls away a few centimeters.
His eyes are closed. He doesn't need to look.]
It's not so bad, is it?
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This is just... nice. It's sweet in a way he wouldn't expect from Dazai and values all the more because he doesn't expect it. It doesn't make him panic or wonder what he should do - the opposite, it settles exactly what he wants to do in his mind.
He makes a soft sound of agreement, then leans in to kiss Dazai again, just as chastely.]
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