For ninjou.

[tenimuho]

[Tonight, Dazai is really drunk.

This is not different from most other nights in their favorite bar, save for a few things.

1. Ango isn't here.

2. Dazai is really drunk. The kind of drunk that has Odasaku concerned that he might be trying to die through liver failure. That drunk.

And so, it's with hesitation that he speaks up.]

Maybe you should stop drinking for tonight.

Comments

[tenimuho]

[Nothing is worse than being Dazai's enemy.]

Like what?

[ninjou]

[You say that now...

Both hands are on Oda's chest, just below his shoulders, and Dazai is running them up to his shoulders, pushing the shirt down.]

Don't move.

[tenimuho]

[It falls off. He looks about the same shirtless as he did with a shirt: flushed (even down to his neck and shoulders) and expectant. He stays still.]

That's not a really bad thing.

[Dazai can do really bad things.]

[ninjou]

[Dazai is really bad things.

He's taking his sweet time pushing that shirt down. He stops part way and picks up one of Odasaku's arms to unbutton the sleeve, then the other, raising and lowering them only enough to do that.]

I just want to see...

[tenimuho]

[Holding still is surprisingly difficult, but Odasaku manages it. He's watching Dazai very closely, trying not to even imagine running his hands through his hair again.]

See what?

[ninjou]

Things.

[He looks distracted. Usually he sees Odasaku with layers. This is nice. This is interesting. His skin is smooth and the tinge of pink is endearing. The shirt is pushed down as far as he can get it, and he tugs the sleeves off, then pulls it from behind Odasaku, casting it just out of convenient reach.]

[tenimuho]

[Goodbye, shirt, we knew you well.

There are a couple scars, a line near his ribcage that speaks of being from a poorly-treated knife wound, things like that, but nothing like Dazai's extensive network of bruises and marks.]

...Do you like what you're seeing?

[Do you find me attractive.]

[ninjou]

[Nothing like Dazai. He's so used to seeing himself in the mirror. He's not used to something nice like this. Has hands curve on the sides of Odasaku's neck as he just... stares. Evaluates. Admires.

He nods.]

Yeah...

[tenimuho]

[The flush just gets worse, but at least Odasaku can relax once he says that, and smile.]

I think that's the sort of thing I should thank you for saying, even if it's embarrassing.

[ninjou]

Did you think I wouldn't?

[Please. He's been dreaming about what he looks like under everything for a while now. A couple of years at least. He's not usually interested in men, but he is definitely, definitely attracted to this singular individual. It shows in a small way he smiles before letting it turn cool and slightly wicked, as usual.]

[tenimuho]

I didn't want to assume anything.

[...That's a worrying smile, particularly on Dazai.]

Am I still not allowed to move?

[ninjou]

Not allowed.

[Dazai is busy staring. It's rude, he knows. It's probably more rude that he's running his hands down Odasaku's chest and pausing thoughtfully, considering things before he looks up at him.]

Look, I don't know what I want right now. I really don't. Do you know what you want? Not... long-term. Right now.

[tenimuho]

...I want either you to stop touching me like this and let me go deal with things- [wow he is not able to say things like 'get off while thinking of you' and it's for the best that he isn't] or I want you to stop stopping.

It's still your choice.

[He'd never try to push Dazai too far.]

[ninjou]

[Dazai stiffens slightly, then lets his hands drop to his sides. He looks a little cold, even though he understands. His way of doing things isn't the nicest, and Odasaku isn't usually the target.

But if he fucks up, he might lose him. That's not a logical thought, but Dazai knows a taste of only one fear in life: losing the one thing that's important to him.]

Right.

[He wants to be close, he decides. That's what he wants is this raw closeness and nothing bigger. He wants to feel him, but not... not like that. Just to be close. And he has his own ways of getting to that that have proved, as he glances down, ultimately troublesome for both of them.

He's not sorry, so he doesn't apologize. He does, however, move so that he's standing, and he offers the shirt back.]

I'll leave. I shouldn't... have done that. I'm not used to you. Or people like you. [Good people.] I just wanted... [Shrug. Doesn't matter. He's awkwardly turning away and... awkwardly fixing things so he can tuck his shirt in.]

[tenimuho]

[Odasaku is quiet for a moment as he pulls his shirt back on. He buttons it carefully, then rises off the couch.]

You should still have breakfast. I'm sure it's gone cold by now, so just put it in the microwave for a minute.

[He worries about Dazai. There are so many things he does that are unhealthy and not eating breakfast is only the smallest of them.]

I'll... I'll be back.

[And before he can get a reply, he disappears in the direction of the bathroom.]

[ninjou]

[He'll be back, and Dazai will be well gone, having not even bothered to steady his head or anything else before donning all his usual garb, adjusting his tie and bandages, and heading out.

He's been missing all night, after all. Someone might think he's dead.]

[tenimuho]

[Dazai...

If he's not at the bar at the usual time, then Odasaku will really start to worry.]

[ninjou]

[He shows up, albeit very, very late, almost 11, and with a few new injuries.

He was hoping it would be just Ango, but it's Odasaku alone again, and he smoothly sits down as his usual is placed in front of him.

It's funny, how he's scared to even acknowledge Odasaku. But he's here, and he's alive, and he's confronting him physically though not yet verbally.]

[tenimuho]

[Ah. That's one worry off his chest.]

Hello, Dazai. [He acknowledges the new bandages with a nod.] How did you get those?

[Dazai will tell him some story, and Odasaku will believe it, and things will be like they always are, at least for right now.]

[ninjou]

[Dazai is quick to reply.]

I got stabbed. Twice.

[And that's it. Even the bartender feels that awkwardness and retreats to the back for a few minutes.]

[tenimuho]

[Ah. Well, that's plain.]

I see.

[The tension is so thick you could probably stab that, too..]

Are you alright?

[ninjou]

[Dazai relaxes a little when the proprietor leaves, and Dazai looks over to Odasaku briefly before turning his whole body to face him.]

Do you want me to sleep with you? Will that help?

[tenimuho]

[That had been a bad time to take a drink. Odasaku chokes, and ends up coughing for a few moments before he can even answer the question.]

I'm sorry?

[ninjou]

Will it help?

[He turns back to face the bar.]

I know I fucked up. I'm not sorry, but you didn't... like it.

[tenimuho]

That's not what happened.

[Oh no no no. It doesn't even occur to Odasaku to be embarrassed over talking about this in public, because it has to be fixed right now.]

I liked it a lot, I loved it, I want to do it again, I just got carried away and had to stop or it'd be harder for me to stop later. You didn't do anything wrong, Dazai.