For ninjou.

[tenimuho]

[Tonight, Dazai is really drunk.

This is not different from most other nights in their favorite bar, save for a few things.

1. Ango isn't here.

2. Dazai is really drunk. The kind of drunk that has Odasaku concerned that he might be trying to die through liver failure. That drunk.

And so, it's with hesitation that he speaks up.]

Maybe you should stop drinking for tonight.

Comments

[tenimuho]

[Maybe. Maybe he should stop. Maybe Odasaku should stop, shouldn't tilt Dazai's head up to kiss his jaw instead. Maybe this all should be put under the rug for another day or possibly never.

But Odasaku doesn't really want to be told that right now. He'd still listen, but it's not what he wants to hear.]

[ninjou]

[He just wants to kiss him until he's bored. Is that too much to ask? Although he'll find it harder to get bored if he keeps doing other things, just like that. A little laugh bubbles up at the kiss to his jaw, and he tips his head to the side some.]

This is dangerous.

[tenimuho]

We do dangerous things all the time.

[They're mafia members. It's in the job description.]

[ninjou]

Not this kind of dangerous.

[If he gets used to this, they're screwed.]

[tenimuho]

No, I guess not.

[It's not the same at all.]

...Is it worth it?

[Odasaku knows his answer, whether closeness to Dazai now is worth hurting himself later, but he can't make that decision for Dazai.]

[ninjou]

[He wants to say yes, yell it, scream it, melt into Odasaku and never leave, because he's been doing this since he woke up and it's all kind of weird... His whole perception of it is skewed by newness and wish fulfillment.]

I don't know yet.

[Because their intimacy is absolutely worth a lot, and he's enjoying it, and looking forward to more if it ever happens. But the situations it could put them in if any of it gets out from behind closed doors........ not worth getting Odasaku completely destroyed. Dazai is invincible. Odasaku isn't. Not socially.]

[tenimuho]

[Odasaku doesn't consider many people his friends to begin with. There's not much worth destroying. (Can you even imagine Ango trying to bully him over this? Really?)

But he gets some of what Dazai's saying.]

I guess it's hard to tell until it's over. That's how these things work.

[He knows more from what he's read than actual experience.]

[ninjou]

[Over?]

I don't want it to ever be over. [He laughs.] Maybe someday I'll take that back. I'm that kind of person. [Oh, fuck it. He'll just slide over so he's straddling Odasaku's lap, facing him, looking down at him with a smile.] Do you ever look at me and think I'm naive? Or too young to understand?

[tenimuho]

[Odasaku shakes his head. Dazai understands everything about the world too well - that's his problem.]

I don't think anyone would call you naive.

[ninjou]

[He looks thoughtful.]

Not even about this?

[tenimuho]

Inexperienced, maybe. But not naive.

[For example, he knows exactly what he's doing to Odasaku by straddling him like that.]

[ninjou]

Do you think it's a mistake?

[He's genuinely curious. Oda's older and wiser. Or something.]

[tenimuho]

No.

[An answer after a moment's thought.]

It might still go badly. I don't predict things as well as you do. [Outside of using Flawless, of course.] But it's not a mistake for me.

[ninjou]

[Dazai is stupid over you, Odasaku. Please realize this.]

What should we do, I wonder... [He kisses him again, lightly.]

[tenimuho]

...I think... it should either involve doing more than kissing or you getting off my lap.

[This is so uncomfortable and he feels incredibly embarrassed for saying it out loud but Dazai, please pity him.]

[ninjou]

[Dazai. Pity. Okay, when were those ever a thing together?]

I'm comfortable.

[tenimuho]

[Never, which is the problem. One of the problems.]

I'm not.

[ninjou]

[99 problems.]

I'm not sorry.

[tenimuho]

If I kiss you again, you still won't be sorry. But if I don't kiss you again, you'll still be on top of me anyway.

[This is a situation Odasaku doesn't know how to escape from.]

[ninjou]

Are you sorry you kissed me back, O~da~sa~ku~?

[His grin is wicked. No, beyond that. He's a menace.]

[tenimuho]

[The terrible thing about being Dazai's (boy)friend is that you are Dazai's (boy)friend.]

Not yet. Maybe I will be if this keeps up.

[ninjou]

[Better or worse than being his enemy?]

I could be doing really bad things right now, you know.

[Did he just use a sexy voice?]

[tenimuho]

[Nothing is worse than being Dazai's enemy.]

Like what?

[ninjou]

[You say that now...

Both hands are on Oda's chest, just below his shoulders, and Dazai is running them up to his shoulders, pushing the shirt down.]

Don't move.

[tenimuho]

[It falls off. He looks about the same shirtless as he did with a shirt: flushed (even down to his neck and shoulders) and expectant. He stays still.]

That's not a really bad thing.

[Dazai can do really bad things.]