monsterfucking meme

[goatsongs]

Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. Some more humanoid than others. But even the ones that are furthest from human shape deserve love, right? They can be sexy too, in their own way.

Post your character. Note their monstrous traits (monster AUs more than welcome!) Reply to others. Get busy.

I'm not here to police how monstrous is monstrous enough, everybody just be chill and have fun.

Comments

[abnormalizes]

Great!

[She sits down across from him.]

My name's Evangeline. Are you new here? I would have remembered seeing a handsome face like yours before.

[Just - going right for it, apparently.]

[conglomeration]

[ Major side-eye. Definitely sus. ]

Let's cut to the chase. What is it you want? [ He's not a polite guy, especially when he's pretty sure he's being mocked. ]

[abnormalizes]

...Mostly to flirt?

[She is not a complicated person.]

[conglomeration]

[ -- the hell? ]

Very funny. What are you, trying to win a bet?

[abnormalizes]

Nnnot really? I mean, if the flirting goes well it'd be great to make out, I like that as much as the next girl, but the flirting with a cute guy is nice in itself?

[conglomeration]

[ Goblins ears twitching anxiously ]

Look. We both know that's not true.

[abnormalizes]

-It's subjective, you know? You're definitely my type.

[Even if he doesn't think much of his own looks, which is sad.]

I'm sorry for everyone else's bad taste.

[conglomeration]

[ That she's really insistent (and nice about it, he's honestly used to women being way more pushy) disarms him, even as he kicks himself for falling for whatever this ploy is. ]

...You really think that?

[abnormalizes]

Yeah! You're super cute.

Can I at least get your name, or should I just keep calling you 'handsome'?

[conglomeration]

[ Ever seen a stone blush? You have now! ]

...Zelgadis.

You sure have weird taste, most people are scared of me. Or disgusted. [ Including himself. ]

[abnormalizes]

[Oh no, he's even cuter.]

Zelgadis. Nice to meet you.

Most people are boring and missing out. Can I buy you a drink? Oh - if you get anything out of drinks, I mean.

[She doesn't know if he has taste buds. Some people don't.]

[conglomeration]

[ This is the first time anyone ever considered the limitations of his condition. The few people who don't treat him like a pariah, they just assume he's a normal human and like break their hand on his head (look he hangs with a lot of violent people but saving the world together is a hell of a bond). ]

[ It's -- really nice of her, actually. ]

I can taste strong flavors a bit. Coffee or dark ale.

[abnormalizes]

One dark, please! -And a whiskey for me.

[The bartender, who isn't a huge fan of rock people but is a fan of money, sends over a dark ale and a whiskey. Evangeline clinks her glass with Zelgadis' before taking a drink.]

[conglomeration]

[ Yeah he learned a long time ago that money talks. ]

Thank you.

[ Taking a long drink to stall for time. What to even say to someone under these conditions? ]

-- It's probably obvious that I'm not really used to small talk. [ Nailed it ]

[abnormalizes]

Kind of figured, yeah. I don't mind carrying a conversation. What are your hobbies?

[conglomeration]

I'm not really sure they're hobbies. Things like reading, sorcery, ancient ruins. I'm trying to find a way to undo [ gesturing at himself ] this.

[abnormalizes]

Oh... That's too bad. You should at least take some time to do something fun for yourself.

[She's not going to tell him he's wrong for wanting to undo it - it's his body, he should be comfortable with it. But spending all your time working on trying to change yourself doesn't sound very enjoyable to her.]

[conglomeration]

...I'm not great at doing anything else. I do that, and occasionally I help out some friends. A few odd jobs in between to have some money.

[ Life's missions are all encompassing like that ]

I can't say I've really tried either. Even before I looked like this, I had a singular focus. It was just different.

[abnormalizes]

Well... I'd offer to help you destress, but it would pretty transparently be me trying to get you into my bed, so.

[At least she's self-aware.]

[conglomeration]

H-how do you just say things like that with no hesitation?!

[ Someone's shy af ]

[abnormalizes]

Life's too short to be coy about what you want! Plus I get to see you make cute expressions like that, that's a bonus.

[he's SO cute]

[conglomeration]

[ HIDING WITHOUT TRYING TO LOOK LIKE HE'S HIDING ]

You don't even know if I want that sort of company or not.

[abnormalizes]

And the best way to find out is to ask.

So, how about it?

[If he says no, she will back off, she respects boundaries when they're drawn. But she does have to at least make the offer.]

[conglomeration]

[ SPUTTERING ]

I ca-- It's-- I'd hurt you!

[ and to think, he's usually so good with words ]

[abnormalizes]

I'm pretty tough! I've probably had worse, honestly.

[this is unfortunately almost definitely true.]