monsterfucking meme

[goatsongs]

Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. Some more humanoid than others. But even the ones that are furthest from human shape deserve love, right? They can be sexy too, in their own way.

Post your character. Note their monstrous traits (monster AUs more than welcome!) Reply to others. Get busy.

I'm not here to police how monstrous is monstrous enough, everybody just be chill and have fun.

Comments

[conglomeration]

[ SPUTTERING ]

I ca-- It's-- I'd hurt you!

[ and to think, he's usually so good with words ]

[abnormalizes]

I'm pretty tough! I've probably had worse, honestly.

[this is unfortunately almost definitely true.]

[conglomeration]

Good for you. [ Still blushing!! ] Unless you don't bruise or bleed I don't know how you can be casual about -- that with someone made of rocks.

[abnormalizes]

A few bruises aren't a bad thing. Gives you something to remember the encounter by. But if you're really worried about it, there's still things we could do that wouldn't be as difficult.

[conglomeration]

[ Never mind she's exactly like all the other women he knows, persistent to a fault. ]

There's a lot I'm worried about, including whether you're trying to trap me so you can experiment on me. Nothing personal, but it's happened before.

[abnormalizes]

[she resembles that remark]

That's awful! No, I'm just trying to suck your dick, no ulterior motives.

[conglomeration]

[ H-honestly!! ] You have no shame, huh? Fine, let's assume I believe you.

What do you get out of it, other than a bunch of injuries?

[abnormalizes]

It's fun? There's worse ways to spend an afternoon than blowing a hot guy and then getting myself off even if you won't fuck me outright. And you make very cute faces when you're embarrassed, so I can only imagine what you look like in bed.

[She likes to think she's very believable! It's hard to imagine anyone saying this stuff if they didn't mean it.]

[conglomeration]

[ sfkjgh for once he's glad everyone sits so far away from him, what is this conversation?. ]

I didn't say I wouldn't-- I mean, stop that!

[abnormalizes]

[Heehee.]

Do you want to talk about it somewhere more private? I can do that.

[conglomeration]

[ He's a little afraid of what she'd do in private if this is how she talks in public. ]

Persistent, aren't you?

...Fine. But don't take this as agreement. [ He's not really sure how she could possibly take it as refusal though. -- Which she should! He's totally going to refuse! Any minute now! ]

[abnormalizes]

Don't worry! I do take no for an answer. [He just hasn't actually said no yet.

She fishes her purse out and puts down enough money for both of their drinks, then stands up.]

My house is just down the street.

[conglomeration]

[ He's getting around to it, okay?! Up he stands and the mask goes on. ]

Whatever. [ If she doesn't take no for an answer, there's always a fireball. ]

Want to walk, or fly? [ It's not that he's in a hurry, it's just that he needs to be in his comfort zone for a few minutes. ]

[abnormalizes]

Walk's fine, it's basically right there.

[Indeed, it's only a couple minutes walk from the bar to her house, which is a cozy little place. Evangeline unlocks the door and leads him in, revealing that her house has tons and tons of books. Definitely an atypical number for this vague fantasy time period. Nerd.]

Make yourself comfortable.

[conglomeration]

[ Gaping for a second and then beelining over to the books, sorry he has stunning priorities ]

I've seen libraries that were smaller.

[abnormalizes]

My hobby is reading! I've been growing this collection for years and I'm pretty proud of it.

[it's fine she gets you]

[conglomeration]

[ He notes that that's the first thing she's told him about herself other than her name and sexual preferences. Just examining the titles looking for anything notable. ]

What's the oldest one you have?

[abnormalizes]

Let's see... I've got a copy of The Illusion Tales that's probably about eighty years old.

[Her tastes tend towards more novels than like, arcane spell books, but it is an impressive collection.]

[conglomeration]

That's pretty impressive. [ He smiles for the first time, at the books of course. ] Most people don't take care of books so well as that.

I've had my hands on some old stuff, but mostly it lasted because it was sealed or guarded by a dragon god or something.

[abnormalizes]

[It's a very cute smile, even if it isn't directed at her.]

I'd love to see the kinds of books that get guarded by dragons, but unfortunately I don't know any dragons myself.

[She would flirt with them if she did,]

[conglomeration]

They can be touchy, but they're usually on the right side. At least the ones I've seen.

[ His smile turns a bit nostalgic. He does miss those idiots when they're not off on epic quests, distractions though they are. ]

[abnormalizes]

You know some? Have they always looked humanoid, or have you seen them ever - [she flaps her hands vaguely to try to indicate 'draconic and hot'.]

[conglomeration]

[ Turns and looks at her incredulously ]

Both, actually. They shape-shift. But they're gods so probably don't go that flappy motion if you meet one.

[abnormalizes]

Oh, sorry. How should I flirt with them then?

[like he's the person to give advice on flirting??]

[conglomeration]

[ That actually gets him to laugh ]

Gently. They're really strong and easily irritated.