monsterfucking meme

[goatsongs]

Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. Some more humanoid than others. But even the ones that are furthest from human shape deserve love, right? They can be sexy too, in their own way.

Post your character. Note their monstrous traits (monster AUs more than welcome!) Reply to others. Get busy.

I'm not here to police how monstrous is monstrous enough, everybody just be chill and have fun.

Comments

[conglomeration]

[ sfkjgh for once he's glad everyone sits so far away from him, what is this conversation?. ]

I didn't say I wouldn't-- I mean, stop that!

[abnormalizes]

[Heehee.]

Do you want to talk about it somewhere more private? I can do that.

[conglomeration]

[ He's a little afraid of what she'd do in private if this is how she talks in public. ]

Persistent, aren't you?

...Fine. But don't take this as agreement. [ He's not really sure how she could possibly take it as refusal though. -- Which she should! He's totally going to refuse! Any minute now! ]

[abnormalizes]

Don't worry! I do take no for an answer. [He just hasn't actually said no yet.

She fishes her purse out and puts down enough money for both of their drinks, then stands up.]

My house is just down the street.

[conglomeration]

[ He's getting around to it, okay?! Up he stands and the mask goes on. ]

Whatever. [ If she doesn't take no for an answer, there's always a fireball. ]

Want to walk, or fly? [ It's not that he's in a hurry, it's just that he needs to be in his comfort zone for a few minutes. ]

[abnormalizes]

Walk's fine, it's basically right there.

[Indeed, it's only a couple minutes walk from the bar to her house, which is a cozy little place. Evangeline unlocks the door and leads him in, revealing that her house has tons and tons of books. Definitely an atypical number for this vague fantasy time period. Nerd.]

Make yourself comfortable.

[conglomeration]

[ Gaping for a second and then beelining over to the books, sorry he has stunning priorities ]

I've seen libraries that were smaller.

[abnormalizes]

My hobby is reading! I've been growing this collection for years and I'm pretty proud of it.

[it's fine she gets you]

[conglomeration]

[ He notes that that's the first thing she's told him about herself other than her name and sexual preferences. Just examining the titles looking for anything notable. ]

What's the oldest one you have?

[abnormalizes]

Let's see... I've got a copy of The Illusion Tales that's probably about eighty years old.

[Her tastes tend towards more novels than like, arcane spell books, but it is an impressive collection.]

[conglomeration]

That's pretty impressive. [ He smiles for the first time, at the books of course. ] Most people don't take care of books so well as that.

I've had my hands on some old stuff, but mostly it lasted because it was sealed or guarded by a dragon god or something.

[abnormalizes]

[It's a very cute smile, even if it isn't directed at her.]

I'd love to see the kinds of books that get guarded by dragons, but unfortunately I don't know any dragons myself.

[She would flirt with them if she did,]

[conglomeration]

They can be touchy, but they're usually on the right side. At least the ones I've seen.

[ His smile turns a bit nostalgic. He does miss those idiots when they're not off on epic quests, distractions though they are. ]

[abnormalizes]

You know some? Have they always looked humanoid, or have you seen them ever - [she flaps her hands vaguely to try to indicate 'draconic and hot'.]

[conglomeration]

[ Turns and looks at her incredulously ]

Both, actually. They shape-shift. But they're gods so probably don't go that flappy motion if you meet one.

[abnormalizes]

Oh, sorry. How should I flirt with them then?

[like he's the person to give advice on flirting??]

[conglomeration]

[ That actually gets him to laugh ]

Gently. They're really strong and easily irritated.

[abnormalizes]

Got it! I'll keep that in mind if I ever meet one.

[conglomeration]

Just always on the prowl, aren't you?

[ He's not sure what to make of that, it's so different. ]

[abnormalizes]

I don't go out searching for dragons or handsome stone-faced men, but if I happen to bump into one at the bar, I'm not going to waste my chance.

[conglomeration]

[ Unfortunately no blushing this time. He's trying to figure her deal out. ]

Are you a human? A normal one, I mean, not like me.

[abnormalizes]

One hundred percent boring human.

[conglomeration]

But you like non-humans, or whatever you want to call it. Why?

[ This is a test. Is he being treated like some toy here, because that's a big no. ]

[abnormalizes]

They're sexy? Some people like blondes, or women with big chests, or things like that. I like non-humans. Do people pick what they're attracted to?

[conglomeration]

Some humans try to get close to those like me in order to get close to power, or to manipulate us.

You don't seem the type, but I'm sure you can understand why I'm careful.