TFLN meme hit captcha but I'd already picked out the texts

[morewithhoney]

1) Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a Brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)

2) Who are you and why are you in my phone as Dr. Seuss?

3) I think I just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy I am to be wearing shorts.

4) I kept drunkenly begging people I met to be in my Facebook mafia.

5) [text him]

Comments

3

[lackinginfaith]

Isn't there something better you could be doing with your time?

[morewithhoney]

In fairness, frogs are pretty cool?

[lackinginfaith]

I suppose, but overall, it sounds like the kind of waste that only happens when you've had too much to drink and too much to think about.

[morewithhoney]

I always have too much to think about. That's why I try and keep busy.

[lackinginfaith]

Love troubles? It's always love troubles.

[morewithhoney]

It's not love troubles!

[lackinginfaith]

Really? That seems to be all you kids think about these days.

[morewithhoney]

I'm 17, I'm not a kid.

[lackinginfaith]

Even if that's the case, you still sound like you're two drinks away from blasting sappy love ballads at 4 AM to someone who threw your stuff out a window.

[morewithhoney]

Even if that was a good idea, I can't do that!

[lackinginfaith]

Which part?

[morewithhoney]

Blasting love ballads at him. I don't know where he lives.

[lackinginfaith]

He ghosted you? That has its own problems. It's a miracle you have a number he's still answering.

[morewithhoney]

Actually, it's more like... He calls me, I don't call him...

[lackinginfaith]

If you're going to get caught up in this mess, you need a relationship counsellor.

[morewithhoney]

Not happening.

[lackinginfaith]

Fine. What do you want me to do? All I can say is to deal with more important things and then iron out your love life.

[morewithhoney]

I've been trying to do that this whole time.

[lackinginfaith]

You mean with your job.

[morewithhoney]

Job's important.

[lackinginfaith]

Yes, they usually are. If you have something you should be devoted to, try and work through that before the whole love thing you're denying.

[morewithhoney]

Oh I'm totally devoted! It's just a little complicated there... It's my boss.

[lackinginfaith]

Is he posing some kind of problem?

[morewithhoney]

He's the one I like.

[lackinginfaith]

Why is it that the people I interact with are always going for the problem types?

[morewithhoney]

Boss is amazing. I'm not sure who WOULDN'T date him. Who has any taste anyway.

[lackinginfaith]

And you work for him.

[morewithhoney]

Yeah!

[lackinginfaith]

I see I'm getting nowhere with this.

[morewithhoney]

I don't actually know where you were trying to go.

3 because Meru is a filthy memelord

[trollcall]

OK UH
LOOK
IM NOT GONNA JUDGE THE SHORTS THING BECAUSE
EVERY1 KNOWS SHORTS ARE COMFY & EASY TO WEAR
AND I RESPECT THAT
BUT
WHY FROGS???

he doesn't get that reference

[morewithhoney]

Frogs are pretty neat though! You can count frogs' bones like the rings of a tree to find out their age. Also I might be a little drunk right now.

*Mi piacciono i pantaloncini corti! Sono molto comodi!

[trollcall]

YYYYEAH IM NO EXPERT BUT
IM GUESSING ITS MORE THAN A LITTLE
I MEAN DO THEY GET A NEW BONE EACH YEAR OR WHAT
HOW OLD CAN FROGS BE ANYWAY
IS IT LIKE TURTLES CAN THEY BE 1000 YEARS OLD AND HAVE 1000 BONES

ALSO NEW PHONE WHO DIS

I have learned things

[morewithhoney]

I think 40? Could be wrong. It's Doppio.

this is why you keep me around isn't it

[trollcall]

OK ITS KIND OF DISTURBING THAT U KNOW SO MANY THINGS ABOUT FROGS OFF THE TOP OF UR HEAD
NGL

WHATS A DOPPIO

can't deny it

[morewithhoney]

[He said he could be wrong.]

My name.

[trollcall]

[ Look, even the fact that he could come up with an estimate is questionable. ]

THATS DUMB

[morewithhoney]

Well what's yours?

1/2

[trollcall]

NANA

2/2

[trollcall]

NANA URBUSINESS!!!!!!!
LOLOLOLOLOL

[morewithhoney]

Wow, how clever. I've totally been humiliated by somebody over texting. Don't you have anything better to do?

[trollcall]

OH COME ON THAT WAS FUNNY
BUT FIIIIINE MR. BUZZKILL MY NAMES MERU
(MS. BUZZKILL? A/S/L?)
ALSO NAH THIS IS KINDA WHAT I DO 4 FUN ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
DONT U HAVE ANYTHING BETTER 2 DO THAN TEXTING RANDOM GIRLS LIKE A CREEP
?