TFLN meme hit captcha but I'd already picked out the texts

[morewithhoney]

1) Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a Brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)

2) Who are you and why are you in my phone as Dr. Seuss?

3) I think I just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy I am to be wearing shorts.

4) I kept drunkenly begging people I met to be in my Facebook mafia.

5) [text him]

Comments

[morewithhoney]

Boss is amazing. I'm not sure who WOULDN'T date him. Who has any taste anyway.

[lackinginfaith]

And you work for him.

[morewithhoney]

Yeah!

[lackinginfaith]

I see I'm getting nowhere with this.

[morewithhoney]

I don't actually know where you were trying to go.