TFLN meme hit captcha but I'd already picked out the texts

[morewithhoney]

1) Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a Brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)

2) Who are you and why are you in my phone as Dr. Seuss?

3) I think I just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy I am to be wearing shorts.

4) I kept drunkenly begging people I met to be in my Facebook mafia.

5) [text him]

Comments

[morewithhoney]

Wow, how clever. I've totally been humiliated by somebody over texting. Don't you have anything better to do?

[trollcall]

OH COME ON THAT WAS FUNNY
BUT FIIIIINE MR. BUZZKILL MY NAMES MERU
(MS. BUZZKILL? A/S/L?)
ALSO NAH THIS IS KINDA WHAT I DO 4 FUN ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
DONT U HAVE ANYTHING BETTER 2 DO THAN TEXTING RANDOM GIRLS LIKE A CREEP
?