For ninjou, boss Dazai.

[tenimuho]

[Of course it eventually came to this.

There was never really any doubt in Odasaku's mind that Dazai would be the next boss. Even among the executives, he was the most talented, the most ruthless. Once Dazai removed Mori from the picture, his position would be - well, not secure, but as secure as being the head of a mafia ever gets.

Odasaku knew it was coming. That doesn't mean he has to like it.]

You called for me, boss?

[The boss's office is very, very nice. That's one of the few entirely positive things that Odasaku can say about this situation: Dazai has an even nicer office now.

He'd rather not dwell on the other things he might say.]

Comments

[ninjou]

[Good. Dazai doesn't want any suggestion of force. He's desperate for Odasaku to give him this kind of affection, and he's wanted it for so, so long. It's pathetic, maybe, sure, because he's the boss and Odasaku could't be lower. Dazai has no designs on changing that unless Odasaku wants and earns it. He won't be accused of nepotism. But then again, no one has to know they're doing this, and... and maybe it won't be the only time.]

I miss you, too. I'm... I know I've changed. Forgive me.

[tenimuho]

I'll always forgive you, Dazai.

[Because Dazai is the most important person in the world to him, and Dazai's not the only person who hates letting go of what and who he treasurse.

Odasaku leans forward a little, to bury a kiss in Dazai's hair.]

[ninjou]

That's good.

[He really does sigh with relief, and he sounds lighter than he has in a while. The Dazai who would drink with Odasaku and make jokes and do ridiculous little things is the one standing before him, not the boss he's come to be. He can let his guard down, here.

The kiss is unexpected. It's wonderful, and he's content.]

Can I... tell you something?

[tenimuho]

Anything.

[He's glad. Dazai's been carrying so much weight on him, Odasaku wasn't sure he could ever put it down.]

[ninjou]

Ah, well...

[He swallows and he's just... well, god, he's the boss, he can't be shy. He also, as the boss, can't ask for what he's about to ask for. But he has to, and he has to be blunt.]

Before, with any men, I've always been... I guess "on top" is one way to put it.

[tenimuho]

I don't mind either way.

[He's topped, and he's bottomed, and they've both been fine. Not spectacular, just... fine.]

[ninjou]

Right.

[He doesn't mind. Oh, what if... what if he doesn't like... He never even asked.]

But... I mean, you like men, right?

[tenimuho]

I think so? I like you, anyway.

[Other men have been attractive, but there's been no emotional connection.]

[ninjou]

Well, do you like women better? I can get someone...?

[It's actually not the best idea he's ever communicated. It doesn't quite strike him as as stupid as it is, because he's just a little oblivious to certain norms, but hey! It's par for the course, isn't it?

And he's trying, trying so hard to make sure Odasaku is happy and comfortable. Just once, even if never again, he'll get to be with him. Even if it's just watching him with someone else. Even if it's just cuddling. He'll take anything, anything at all.]

[tenimuho]

[...Dazai. Dazai no.

How does he explain this simply.]

The reason I don't have more sex is because it's not that exciting to me unless it's with someone I actually care about.

Men and women don't matter. I just want you.

[ninjou]

Me?

[Just him. Why that seems suddenly surprising is kind of pathetic, really. Friendship is one thing. Missing someone. But knowing he is wanted, singularly and uniquely, makes him smile and pause and look at Odasaku so dumbly that he must seem like the kid who looked up to him a few years ago as the absolute paragon of manliness and kindness and coolness.]

Then... if you'll take things slow, could you be on top?

[Because on the inside, part of him is that awestruck kid who wants nothing more than Odasaku's approval and affection.]

It might take a while for me to be ready.

[tenimuho]

I'll do my best.

[He won't rush Dazai or do anything he's uncomfortable with. He never would, and that hasn't changed at all.

Odasaku drops another kiss, this one on his cheek.]

[ninjou]

Hey, don't just do your best!

[He's teasing. He knows Odasaku will be gentle and kind, now that he understands. Now that they both understand. This may be the only time, but he'll always remember it.

At the kiss, he practically melts.]

Do you... want to eat, or... take a shower or anything? Sit for a while?

[tenimuho]

I already showered.

[Since he came here with the expectation of having sex, and all.]

But sitting would be nice. Cuddling?

[ninjou]

[He nods, then leans in to kiss Odasaku's neck lightly, just by his ear. Pulling away, he lets a look linger, smiling faintly.]

Thank you.

[Then he turns and, taking Odasaku's hand, leads him into the grandest bedroom the man has probably ever seen. And it's all Dazai's. Never Mori's. The bed is ample and modern, and while there are clearly things on the side table that waited in expectation of their meeting--condoms, lube, a few other things--they're easily ignored. He'll drag him over and urge him to sit before snatching up the TV remote.]

Here... we can watch something.

[tenimuho]

[Oh, okay, he'll just sit and - wow, he didn't even know beds could be this comfy. Odasaku's own bed is definitely no match.]

Anything's fine with me. ...Except shows about cute animals.

[He'll tear up, it'll be embarrassing and ruin the mood.]

[ninjou]

Right, right...

[He grins. The bed is plush and comfortable and the best thing ever, and as long as Odasaku likes it, he's happy.

Dazai flips channels a bit and settles for a random TV drama about something or other.]

No cute animals. And it's the start of a new broadcast season, so maybe we'll find something good to watch. How's this?

[tenimuho]

That's fine.

[It doesn't matter what they watch as long as Dazai snuggles with him.]

[ninjou]

[Well, it looks like a good show, so Dazai puts the remote on the other side of Odasaku so he'll have control of the watching. Then he rolls right into bed next to his friend--not former, but current--and smiles as he leans in. One hand lays softly on his cheek.]

Thanks.

[tenimuho]

[Odasaku wraps an arm around Dazai's side.]

You don't need to thank me.

[ninjou]

Like hell I don't.

[He laughs softly, cuddling in. Odasaku believed in him. Still does. Cares about him. Dazai is comfortable giving him the love he's held onto for so long.]

[tenimuho]

I haven't done anything special.

[...being snuggly as hell doesn't count.]

[ninjou]

You're letting me hold you. I never thought I'd really have that unless I begged, or... forced it. So... thank you. For letting me keep my dignity!

[He laughs, and turns his head to kiss Odasaku's cheek.]

[tenimuho]

All you had to do was ask.

[He could have had this ages ago, if they hadn't both been scared to try and change things.

Odasaku strokes the small of Dazai's back, gently.]

[ninjou]

The same goes for you. You never asked, either.

[He adores him. Loves him. Needs him until the end of time. And he won't think beyond right now, because right now they are all that exists in the world. The TV is ignored as Dazai peppers Odasaku's shoulder with kisses.]