For ninjou, boss Dazai.

[tenimuho]

[Of course it eventually came to this.

There was never really any doubt in Odasaku's mind that Dazai would be the next boss. Even among the executives, he was the most talented, the most ruthless. Once Dazai removed Mori from the picture, his position would be - well, not secure, but as secure as being the head of a mafia ever gets.

Odasaku knew it was coming. That doesn't mean he has to like it.]

You called for me, boss?

[The boss's office is very, very nice. That's one of the few entirely positive things that Odasaku can say about this situation: Dazai has an even nicer office now.

He'd rather not dwell on the other things he might say.]

Comments

[ninjou]

Like hell I don't.

[He laughs softly, cuddling in. Odasaku believed in him. Still does. Cares about him. Dazai is comfortable giving him the love he's held onto for so long.]

[tenimuho]

I haven't done anything special.

[...being snuggly as hell doesn't count.]

[ninjou]

You're letting me hold you. I never thought I'd really have that unless I begged, or... forced it. So... thank you. For letting me keep my dignity!

[He laughs, and turns his head to kiss Odasaku's cheek.]

[tenimuho]

All you had to do was ask.

[He could have had this ages ago, if they hadn't both been scared to try and change things.

Odasaku strokes the small of Dazai's back, gently.]

[ninjou]

The same goes for you. You never asked, either.

[He adores him. Loves him. Needs him until the end of time. And he won't think beyond right now, because right now they are all that exists in the world. The TV is ignored as Dazai peppers Odasaku's shoulder with kisses.]

[tenimuho]

I'm sorry. Forgive me?

[That feels nice, and Odasaku will just take a second to play with Dazai's hair. It's so soft.]

[ninjou]

Always.

[He can say that to no one else in the world. The hand in his hair makes him hum happily.]

[tenimuho]

[What if Odasaku tilts his head a little and kisses behind Dazai's ear? What then?]

[ninjou]

[He gets a little shiver for his trouble, and a short giggle.]

That's... Cute.

[tenimuho]

Cute?

[He doesn't think of himself that way. Children are cute, small animals are cute, he's a grown man.]

[ninjou]

Ah, not... like... it tickles. In a good way. I want more...?

[tenimuho]

[He can absolutely have more. Anything he asks.

Kisses behind each ear, and then soft kisses pressed to his jaw.]

[ninjou]

[Dazai makes a soft, content sound, and tips his head so Odasaku can do whatever he darn well pleases, because this is what happiness feels like, and he hasn't known it in a while. This is bliss. Reaching over, he puts a light hand on Odasaku's cheek.]

I needed this.

[tenimuho]

Me too.

[This closeness to the dearest person in his life - he's been without for long enough that now that he can be with Dazai like this, he feels like a starving man faced with a banquet.

More kisses to Dazai's jaw, and his neck, before finally gently tilting Dazai's head so that he can kiss his lips once more.]

[ninjou]

[Dazai loves Odasaku more than words can say, more than he can articulate, so he won't bother. Instead, he'll pour that affection--which may soon have to be destroyed again--into the sweetest of kisses, soft movements of lips and a scant invitation of tongue. He needs and wants.

Turning his whole body, Dazai almost fully faces him, resisting the urge to climb on his lap, but just barely.]

[tenimuho]

[Every invitation is accepted. The kiss deepens, with Odasaku stroking his hair as it does.

He wants so much. He wants everything, all at once. If this might be his only night with Dazai, then he wants it to be perfect. For both of them, but mostly for Dazai.]

[ninjou]

[Even if it's not perfect, it will be perfect, and that's the beauty of the depth of this affection. It's finally transcending everything, every rank, every issue, every credo, and they're together as Dazai has dreamed of for so damn long.

He can't resist. On his knees now, he settles his hands on Odasaku's cheeks and sighs happily before letting his tongue dance over his friend's, his lover's, making the kiss warm, deep and intimate. If he could pour all his feelings into a single kiss, this would be it.

His shoulders shake, nervous, giddy, sad, and his whole body quivers for a fraction of a second before he finds himself with one hand on Odasaku's chest, accidentally over his heart.]

[tenimuho]

[There are so many feelings going on here. Even a deep kiss like that won't communicate all of them, but not for lack of trying on Odasaku's part.

Eventually he pulls back, just barely, just enough to try to express it with the only words that come close.]

I love you, Dazai.

[ninjou]

[The kiss is broken, and Dazai moves to chase it, but Odasaku breathes to speak and Dazai wants to hang on his every word so he won't forget any of this. Every breath and syllable and--]

Ah--?

[He freezes, cheeks going red, pulling away a little and... And.

He. Loves him. Odasaku loves him. The man he swears he's loved since he was a teenager loves him and he's scared of that. He can't find the words to respond, though his affection is choking him. Now he shakes again, only this time it's accompanied by him hanging his head and laughing softly, hollow and sad.

Moments pass, time that feels like an eternity, and Dazai takes a gasping breath before he can finally look up to meet Odasaku's eyes. His hands go to the man's collar.]

I've loved you since... so long. I don't want to think about what it was like not to love you. It hurts. [His voice strains, but he tries to smile and he tries to be jaunty and jovial and the old Dazai Odasaku must really love... not the boss.] Don't love me after tonight, okay? If we can't do this again, just stop. If I hurt you.... you know? I can forgive a lot of things, but not that.

[tenimuho]

...I'm not sure if I can just stop.

[He can try. He will try, if Dazai asks him to, because he doesn't want him to be hurt, or tied down by the feelings of someone he can't associate with any longer. But he doesn't think it's possible.]

I'm sorry. I'll do my best.

[ninjou]

[Whatever makes him happy. Whatever it takes. However he can make Odasaku's life better. Anything.]

I love you, Odasaku. I always will.

[Timidly, he moves in again, asking for a kiss with eyes closed and breath held.]

[tenimuho]

[A soft, gentle kiss. Really and truly sweet, this time. Odasaku tugs Dazai closer to his chest to hold him tightly.

They may not have another night like this, so he'll make the most of this one.]

[ninjou]

[Feeling small and young and stupid, Dazai curls in and lets himself be held, like he isn't the boss... like he isn't anything important. Dazai is nothing, Odasaku is everything. Rank and title be damned.]

[tenimuho]

[After pulling back a moment, Odasaku peppers kisses all over Dazai's face, still holding him close.

Maybe he can't love Dazai after tonight - maybe he'll have to listen to what Dazai asked of him. He'll try and make up for that, if he can.]

[ninjou]

[The kisses make Dazai smile broadly, with a happy hum to accompany that smile. His whole body seems to want to get as close to Odasaku as possible, so he rests a hand on the other man's knee and strokes it lightly.

He's definitely desperately attached. And it shows.]