ryslig museboxing post

[abnormalizes]

[A: arrival]
[So the new people. There are new humans, as always. This month you can find them crawling out of the sea, coughing water out of their lungs.

Evangeline is drenched when she gets to shore, like everyone else, her suit clearly not meant for swimming. As soon as she spots you and your obviously nonhuman features, though, her entire face lights up.]

Well hello, gorgeous. I must have died and went to Heaven.

[B: network]
username: evangeline
So where do you recommend for the local cuisine? I tried Cafe Guro but honestly I think they were trying to market ordinary meat as the gourmet stuff. And the staff gave me weird looks.

[C: idk]
[she's having a great time.]

Comments

[abnormalizes]

My company does energy generation through work with monsters, and I'm a specialist in seeing to their social needs. Evangeline, pleased to meet you.

[epitaffio]

Monsters have social needs...?

[... Said the talking deer.]

[abnormalizes]

Sure they do. Don't you ever get lonely? Or, no, wait, someone as handsome as you probably has all kinds of social callers to keep him from feeling lonely.

[oh, those social needs]

[epitaffio]

H-Huh?! I don't know what you're trying to imply!

[EVERYBODY GETS LONELY BUT HE'S NOT SURE THAT'S WHAT SHE MEANS?????]

[abnormalizes]

Oh, am I being too subtle? I'm hitting on you.

[epitaffio]

[OH NO THAT'S WHAT HE WAS AFRAID OF]

I-- I'm sorry! I'm gay!

[he's panicking is what he is]

[abnormalizes]

Oh! Okay, sorry. I'll stop.

[

at least it worked]

[epitaffio]

[... Oh. That was easy??]

You're not mad?

[abnormalizes]

No?? That's a dick thing to get angry about, it's not personal.

[epitaffio]

Oh.

[It's almost like he was expecting her to get on his case for SOME reason or another...]

Um... How old are you, anyway?

[abnormalizes]

Twenty-four. ...You are over eighteen, right?

[epitaffio]

... Oh, uh, yeah. [And he will not be specifying beyond that, thank you!] I just wasn't sure if you were. It can be kind of dangerous to hit on random guys, you know? Especially in a place like this.

[abnormalizes]

Why, will they eat me? ...In the not fun way.

[epitaffio]

[... Oh boy.]

Uh… Yeah, they might. Haven’t you heard?

[abnormalizes]

You're the first person I've talked to here.

[epitaffio]

Really? [Heck of a choice.

... Wait, does that mean he's the first person she's tried to flirt with???]

[abnormalizes]

I just popped out of the ocean like two minutes ago and everybody else in the ocean seems like they were panicking too much to be helpful?

[epitaffio]

Still… I can’t believe you ran into me first, of all people. [AND IMMEDIATELY FLIRTED WITH HIM??]

[abnormalizes]

Why not you, of all people?

[epitaffio]

[... He's not even sure if he should answer that from the Informative Monster Veteran angle or from the Guy Who Just Got Flirted With angle.]

Just, you know, out of all the people out there...

[... You know!]

Why'd you try to talk to me?

[abnormalizes]

Well - you know! You looked approachable.

[Read: cute.]

[epitaffio]

Oh. I guess I get that sometimes...

[The "cute" part too, but it's probably for the best that she didn't say it.]

[abnormalizes]

[she promised to stop hitting on him! even though he is still cute.]

Right! You've gotta start with somebody and it might as well be someone who looks friendly.

[epitaffio]

Right...

[WAIT RIGHT they were talking about something important. Uhhh]

So - does that mean you don't know anything about this place yet? Anything at all? [Is he gonna have to give her the talk...?]

[abnormalizes]

Nope! Fresh off the boat.

[good luck doppio]