ryslig museboxing post

[abnormalizes]

[A: arrival]
[So the new people. There are new humans, as always. This month you can find them crawling out of the sea, coughing water out of their lungs.

Evangeline is drenched when she gets to shore, like everyone else, her suit clearly not meant for swimming. As soon as she spots you and your obviously nonhuman features, though, her entire face lights up.]

Well hello, gorgeous. I must have died and went to Heaven.

[B: network]
username: evangeline
So where do you recommend for the local cuisine? I tried Cafe Guro but honestly I think they were trying to market ordinary meat as the gourmet stuff. And the staff gave me weird looks.

[C: idk]
[she's having a great time.]

Comments

[abnormalizes]

I just popped out of the ocean like two minutes ago and everybody else in the ocean seems like they were panicking too much to be helpful?

[epitaffio]

Still… I can’t believe you ran into me first, of all people. [AND IMMEDIATELY FLIRTED WITH HIM??]

[abnormalizes]

Why not you, of all people?

[epitaffio]

[... He's not even sure if he should answer that from the Informative Monster Veteran angle or from the Guy Who Just Got Flirted With angle.]

Just, you know, out of all the people out there...

[... You know!]

Why'd you try to talk to me?

[abnormalizes]

Well - you know! You looked approachable.

[Read: cute.]

[epitaffio]

Oh. I guess I get that sometimes...

[The "cute" part too, but it's probably for the best that she didn't say it.]

[abnormalizes]

[she promised to stop hitting on him! even though he is still cute.]

Right! You've gotta start with somebody and it might as well be someone who looks friendly.

[epitaffio]

Right...

[WAIT RIGHT they were talking about something important. Uhhh]

So - does that mean you don't know anything about this place yet? Anything at all? [Is he gonna have to give her the talk...?]

[abnormalizes]

Nope! Fresh off the boat.

[good luck doppio]

[epitaffio]

Okay, uh...

[Should he just... rip the bandaid??]

You know how I said monsters eat people?

[abnormalizes]

Uh-huh?

[Not too bothered by talking to a cannibal at the moment.]

[epitaffio]

[Oh, totally not HIM. That's a story for another time, though.]

Um... You're gonna turn into one too.

[abnormalizes]

[





SPARKLES]

You mean it?! I really will? Will I get to look as cool as you??

[epitaffio]

[OKAY, BEING CALLED "COOL" IS NEW??]

Uh, I don't know?? There's a whole bunch of different types-- [More importantly, though!] Are you sure you heard the bit about eating people? Sure, you could get lucky, but that doesn't happen very often!

[abnormalizes]

Well, if it's as expensive to eat human here as it is back home, I'll definitely need to find a really good job to be able to afford it...

[This is, unfortunately, entirely serious.]

[epitaffio]

... Um, it's free, actually.

[abnormalizes]

Really? How does that even work? You can't even get the normal stuff for free at home.

[epitaffio]

[Are they even-- How can they POSSIBLY be talking about the same thing.]

What, do monsters in your place have to buy food too?!

[abnormalizes]

No, most monsters I know either don't eat or get their food, uh, fresh. It's humans that pay out the nose for gourmet meat.

[epitaffio]

Then why the hell do you think you're gonna have to buy it?!

[abnormalizes]

Because there's not enough monsters at home to have stuff like restaurants and things for them? If everybody here eats human then obviously people are going to be selling it.

[epitaffio]

Monsters hunt and kill people! What the hell are you talking about?!

[He doesn't mean to raise his voice or anything. This conversation is just turning frustrating in a way he did not anticipate when it began with flirting.]

[abnormalizes]

Oh.

Well, that just seems like this place's problem? There's a reason people stopped having everybody hunt or grow their own food ages ago. Someone should open a grocery store.

[epitaffio]

[Doppio opens his mouth.

Then he gets louder.]

Are you fucking with me right now?!

[abnormalizes]

Of course I'm serious! What, you're about to tell me at home you raised your own cows and chickens and stuff?? Who wouldn't be bothered by going back to some kind of hunter-gatherer society!