crowspace | RECOLLE AU POST

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RECOLLE AU POST

Games are hard and we are all very tired, but I stil do want to play out Recolle things, both with the characters I actually had in the game and characters I thought of AUs for. So please consider this a CMO for whoever you want to play off of out of these choices:

Bungou to Alchemist

SHUJI TSUSHIMA

Took five million years to graduate college, but eventually managed it, and published a novel! Hates his past self and everything he stands for. Turned into a book spirit thing that bleeds ink, is dealing with that okay. Cynical, jaded to most unreality things after a couple years on the app. Thinks scythes are stupid weapons even if they do turn into books for easy travel size.

Dazai Osamu

Fate/Extra CCC

SHINJI MATOU

A small child who does not deserve this. Bratty, spoiled as an only child, but bright enough to back it up and doing his best. Has a presence in the online video gaming community without revealing that he's a child. Probably should not have remembered dying twice before the age of ten. Owns a robot with lasers.

Matou Shinji

Tales of Vesperia

DRORIT SHAPIRO

Significantly less anime hair. Still cheerful, still would Fite You if you messed with her friends, but a lot healthier and more conventionally loving relationship with her parents. Dad is a preschool teacher and not Whatever Yeager Is. A nice Jewish girl.

Droite

Fate/Zero

RYUUNOSUKE URYUU

Not a murderer, so there's that. Watches ultra realistic horror movies and would totally watch a snuff film if he had one, but doesn't have any urge to go out and kill people. A student of marine biology specializing in deep sea creatures, aka the most horrifying things on the planet. Most likely to excitedly post a picture of some terrifying thing on the network.

Uryuu Ryuunosuke

Hollow Knight

GREG "GRIMM" THOMPSON

Looks human up until he suddenly doesn't. Runs a circus troupe, but Greg isn't really an appopriate name for that so he goes by Grimm there. Much more flamboyant in the ring than out of it. Had a falling out with his sister, we don't talk about it. Gets Grimmchild as a regain and is pretty awkward about this being his child that looks nothing like him, or like a human at all, but still loves them and spoils them.

Grimm

The Miskatonic

ANNABEL "ANNIE" COOK

Came over from England but her accent isn't nearly as pronounced. A rebellious spirit with a bad relationship with her family. At some point makes a very panicked post about what to do if you suddenly have cravings and she's not saying they're cravings for eating people but they might be cravings for eating people. Learns to hang upside down from the ceiling and starts doing that all the time.

Nutty Annie

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Mista's been good. He hasn't contacted Shuji at all. It's what Shuji wanted, so he has to respect that. And if he did try to stay in touch—]

[Well, he knows them. He knows it'd just hurt them both. Even if he forgets why, after a few days, he remembers that it would.]

[It's a confusing way to live. A strange, awful, gut-wrenching way to live. It doesn't get better, as the months go by; he just gets used to it. He gets used to knowing that his boyfriend, who used to live with him, broke up with him at an arcade that he can't quite remember, for reasons that have always just slipped his mind. He gets used to seeing Shuji around every once in a while and avoiding eye contact. The pillows stop smelling like Shuji and start smelling like pillows again.]

[And then one day . . .]

[I think I might've killed people, Shuji.]

[He remembers.]

[Not only does he remember, but he remembers remembering: the process of remembering, one painful, agonizing piece at a time. He remembers forgetting, too, all at once, one time and then another time over. And how Shuji stayed.]

[He might forget again. He knows that. He shouldn't call. He shouldn't.]

[He calls Shuji anyway.]

[It's painful, because Shuji loves Mista. That has never changed, will never changed. He'd loved Mista so much that he'd stayed with him long past the point where it was obvious that a relationship where he couldn't be completely honest with Mista (because even Mista wouldn't, couldn't believe him), where Mista might disappear overnight or become a disembodied voice, wasn't going to be okay.

He wanted so badly for it to be okay, if he just loved Mista enough.

At least he was able to be honest with Mista about why he left, even if Mista forgot again almost immediately. It wasn't much, but it was something.

Shuji can't count how many times he'd wanted to text or call Mista again. Try to go back to how things were before. Even though he knew it was impossible - he still wanted that so much.

(He'd sent Mista a birthday present. Probably it wasn't the 'right' thing to do, but Shuji's willpower is only so strong, and his love is stronger.)

But now they've defeated Vanderweele. Zee said that all the people who lost Retrospec access should be regaining it soon - not all at once, but a steady trickle, and this time they'll keep their memories. Shuji has tried not to wonder when Mista would get his back, but-

But when he sees Mista's name on his caller ID, his heart is in his throat.]

Mista.

[He can't say anything else. He doesn't dare assume - Mista could just want to patch things up, it doesn't mean...]

Hey.

[His voice breaks on the single syllable. Great. Awesome start. Perfect. He coughs.]

[What did he call to say? He doesn't even know. What could he say? He isn't even sure he believes his own mind right now. Except he does, except it all fits, but it's insane. It doesn't make sense, but it makes so much sense.]

[In the convention center. What happened there — that's what he's been missing. That's what Shuji said, back in the arcade that was fuzzy up until now. That he didn't even remember how they got together.]

[He remembers now. His chest hurts.]

You—

[Jesus, he's already such a mess.]

You kept it safe. My cross.

[He remembers.

Shuji never forgot a second of it. Not even a single word Mista said that day. It's too important, too precious to him. For Mista to forget that was-

But he remembers now, and Shuji was not at all prepared for this. He's tearing up already, and he's sure Mista can hear the sniffles on the other end.]

Of course, of course I did. You kept me safe, so I - I-

God, I missed you so much-

[He's crying. They're mostly good tears, he thinks.]

I missed you . . .

[But his voice trails off. He remembers missing Shuji. He remembers missing him with two parts of his brain: the part where the memories lived and were shut off, and the part that didn't remember but loved all the same. It's like trying to reconcile two lives lived at once, and it's already giving him a headache. He leans forward, closing his eyes and pressing the heel of his hand against his forehead.]

I missed you, [he says again, quieter this time.] Am I gonna forget again? Maybe I shouldn't have called. If I forget again it'll just hurt you. I shouldn't have said anything—

[Panic rises in his voice in a few quick beats. He's fucked up already, hasn't he — he's made Shuji hurt all over again, in some incomprehensible future where he doesn't remember any of this.]

You won't forget!

[The explanation comes out in a rush - the words can't get out of his mouth quickly enough, the need to reassure Mista overpowering.]

We found out who was causing the forgetting and we stopped him, and now everybody who's forgotten is getting their memories back, and nobody will forget anymore. It's okay now. It's really, really going to be okay.

I want - I need to see you. Can I come over, are you still...?

[At that apartment, that was so long their apartment.]

[Oh.]

[There's a part of him that doubts Shuji. There shouldn't be. But — Shuji went too far last time, didn't he? He went too far and took on too much to stay with Mista, even when it was bad for him. If there's a chance to get back with him, would Shuji lie to him? Would Shuji say he definitely won't forget, even if there's a chance?]

[Mista hesitates. He hates everything that he's thinking. But he has to be sure. They can't do this again.]

I want you to. I want you to, but—

Shuji, you promise, right? There's no way I'll forget again. Zero percent chance. I need you to promise, 'cause I can't do that again, I can't. It hurts.

[The memories, he means. The strange, confusing, awful memories. He can see them through so many filters now; the pain of losing Shuji was, for some time, just pain and confusion, but now it's pain and confusion and guilt, because he knows exactly what he did. He can't do it again, it's too awful.]

I swear it. There's zero percent chance.

[Vanderweele is super dead, but nothing about murdering a guy is romantic, even if he most definitely deserved it.]

I promise you won't forget, and I won't forget, and we can be happy.

[Mista probably would find it romantic. Or at least a huge relief. He still hasn't even begun to wrap his mind around the idea that someone did all of that, on purpose, but once he does he'll be furious. Death is too good for somebody who fucks with people like that.]

[For now, though.]

[He hesitates. But he can't doubt a promise like that. He thinks Shuji might stretch the truth to make them both happy, but he doesn't think Shuji would lie outright. Not like this.]

[Unseen on the other end of the line, his shoulders sag in exhausted, overwhelmed relief.]

Yeah. Yeah, you should come over.

. . . Please come over. I'm still where you left me. [It's supposed to be a joke, but it comes out flat and hollow and lonely. He misses Shuji so much. He has this whole time.]

Fifteen minutes. [Shuji wishes he could be there quicker, but even with him hurrying to throw on his shoes and rush out the door - Mista can probably hear that he's straight-up running - he can't solve the problem of the library not being right next to Mista's apartment.

Also it's kind of hard to talk and run at the same time, so although Shuji's still on the line he probably won't be talking much. Not until he gets to Mista's door and knocks.

It's probably unnecessary to knock given that he's still on the line and could just say that he's here, but Shuji is not very smart.]

[He stays on the line. Which is silly in its own way. He could just hang up and Shuji'd probably be able to get over to his apartment faster. But he's missed hearing his voice, even just the sound of his breath. It's such a small thing, but it makes his breath catch in his throat.]

[Truthfully, the longer he hears Shuji run, the more choked up he gets. It doesn't feel real. He has to keep insisting to himself in his own head that it is, that it's not somebody else's memories he's living, that this really, really is happening.]

[And then he hears Shuji running up the stairs. And then he hears Shuji knocking, through the phone and at the door. And he's at the door before he recognizes that he's gotten to it and wrenched it open, phone abandoned on the couch.]

[And Shuji is there.]

[He's crying. Just bawling, the floodgates finally open because Shuji's here, actually really here, and he remembers everything, and it hurts, but Shuji is so, so fucking beautiful. Here with him again, finally, where he belongs.]

[Less than a second passes, honestly, between him pulling the door open and grabbing Shuji by the waist, lifting him up in the tightest hug he can manage. It feels like it takes longer, like it takes forever before Shuji's tight in his arms. Shuji smells good. He feels good. Mista's still crying, hot and heavy and disjointed, bottled up for months and finally free.]

[Shuji could have hung up, but he couldn't stand to be separated from Mista even for a second. When Mista is there, hugging him tightly-

Shuji drops his phone and doesn't even notice. It's not important. It's not nearly as important as squeezing Mista in return and burying his face in Mista's shoulder.]

Mista, Mista, I love you-

[It's been so, so long since he was able to say that. Far too long when he's thought it every single day.]

[He gasps, wordless and sobbing, face pressed against Shuji's shoulder. His fingers are digging in tight to Shuji, clutching him wherever he can reach. He should let go, he should be more gentle, but he feels like he's been drowning and this is the first breath of air he's had in months. He's so confused, but Shuji of all things in this weird fucked-up backwards situation makes sense.]

'M sorry, [he mumbles out, breathless, helpless.] 'M sorry, Shu, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to forget — don't let me forget again, I love you, I need you—

[It's so — even now it doesn't feel fair to say. It feels like too much. But Shuji missed him. Shuji loves him. So maybe, probably, it's okay after all.]

[His heart's breaking in the best way.]

oh man i get to break this in

you're so powerful

💪

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starts with something dumb

perfect

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