Hanahaki Disease Meme

[misheard]

HANAHAKI DISEASE

The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated, or to somehow wipe away all one’s memories of their beloved person. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.

1. Post your character with name, canon, and ship preferences in subject line. Also include whether you'd prefer your character to be the one suffering from the disease or not.
2. Tag other people.
3. Pain.
4. If you need help choosing specific flowers, this flower meaning chart might be a good starting point.

Comments

[goatsongs]

That's too bad. Somebody should be enjoying this.

[He isn't. What good is falling in love if it isn't returned?]

[ghostfromthemachine]

Why? In particular, why should I?

[goatsongs]

Because it's funnier if you're not the one dying. And you of all people ought to get something out of it.

[He shouldn't say even that much, he knows. But he's just so tired of all of this.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ gives him a look like he's making no sense and pads over to the bed, using the broken bottom half of the broom to clear enough of a spot she can plop herself down next to it ]

The only thing I'm getting out of this is that I need to stop getting attached to people—

Hell. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.

[goatsongs]

[Kaiko, he's sorry, but he has to laugh at that. That is really, genuinely hilarious, even though how hard he's laughing sends him into a coughing fit.

When he's recovered enough to speak-]

If you were more attached to me, we wouldn't be in this situation to start with.

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ amazing. someone actually has a sense of dark, self-deprecating humor worse than Kaiko's. ]

... what in hell is that supposed to mean?

[goatsongs]

[It's pretty much the only kind of humor he can summon up these days.]

Lovesickness means I have to be in love with somebody who doesn't love me back, right?

Who else could it possibly be?

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ it says something about the mindset she's in and how badly she's slipping that her first thought after that begins to sinks in is that this was all actually some sort of cruel joke. that it seems at all more likely that he would fuck with her like that than ever possibly fall in love with something like her.

it hurts, fighting that conviction. it always hurts, but in this case— wouldn't it be so much easier if it were true? if she weren't something that could be loved, and this weren't— ]



...this is my fault?

[ ...she flinches almost as soon as the words are out. it's more complicated than that and she knows it, but... in some ways, blaming herself is easier, too. ]

[goatsongs]

No.

[Of course it's easy to see it that way - Chuuya might read it that way, too, if their roles were switched.

But they aren't, and so the word is snapped out instantly.]

It's not your fault. You aren't obligated to anything just because some asshole got a crush on you. It's nothing you could have stopped.

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ rubbing at her face. scratchy-voiced and small: ]

I... know, I just— don't call yourself an asshole.

[goatsongs]

It's not wrong.

[He bullies people who don't bully him and aren't either cinnamon rolls or so messed up that he can't bring himself to mess with them more.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

... don't call yourself "just some" asshole.

[ it's not wrong. ]

[goatsongs]

Does it even matter what I call myself? I'm not going to do it for much longer.

[Since, you know, he's going to die soon.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

It matters to me. But that's... more than a little selfish, isn't it?

[ it's starting to sink in past the numb shock and the automatic denial. not enough that she can really wrap her head around it all the way, not enough that she can face it head on, but— enough that she can start looking at the way he's been behaving in a new light, and at her own actions.

she's known that a good chunk of her motives in trying to do something for him were in fact no more than a selfish attempt to comfort herself. had accepted that, even; that's just the kind of person she's become, and she'd come to terms with that a while back. but it's starting to dawn on her that her clumsy attempts to be some kind of help have likely just been rubbing his face in the fact that his feelings weren't quite requited—

and love left hanging is painful enough even when the heartache isn't fatally literal. ]

...Chuuya. Am I making things worse by being here?

[goatsongs]

[The hesitation before Chuuya answers that is likely answer enough.

He coughs up flowers more when he sees her, or when he thinks about her, or when he sees the wreck that used to be his phone. There's no denying that she accelerates the process.

But...]

If I'm going to die anyway, I'd rather have you around and speeding it up then hang on a little longer with you not coming by at all.

[What value would he get out of a couple extra days without her?]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ guess who was just thinking in terms of emotional pain, and not that she could quite literally be speeding things up. that realization turns out to be the final straw; she flinches as the first tears spill over, then turns to shove her face against the side of his mattress so he can't look at her.

muffled: ]

...all right.

[goatsongs]

[He can't look at her, no, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know that she's crying. He sets a hand on her back, unusually gentle - or just weak. Could be either, now.]

...Don't go. Please.

[If he has a selfish last request, it's that he doesn't really want to die alone.

Besides. It's not like it's contagious.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ as light as the touch is, it makes her plaster herself the rest of the way against the bed. like she's trying to get as close to him as she can without climbing in there with him. ]

I don't want to. Didn't want to. But I don't want to- to hurt you more just because I'm a s-selfish mess.

[goatsongs]

If you were a selfish mess you wouldn't be here.

[And he wouldn't have fallen for her - though he shouldn't say that out loud.

He rubs her back lightly. It's weird that he's the one comforting her, isn't it...]

[ghostfromthemachine]

I was here for my own peace of mind as much as I was for you, and now I'm all but- begging you to make me feel better about this when you're the one dying and I'm the cause.

If you can- can call yourself an asshole, I can call myself selfish.

[goatsongs]

[Well, he's not going to give up the asshole thing, so he can't fight her on this.]

...Then just get in bed already, I don't feel like getting out.

[If she wants comfort then the least she can do is come to him.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ peeling herself away from the mattress enough to look at him, startled and then sharply intent. despite the glassiness caused by the tears, her eyes are doing that weird thing again, with the light barely reflecting them at all.

after a moment she snuffles, wipes her face off against the side of the mattress, and turns to climb up and carefully tuck herself against his side. her weight is barely enough to make the bed dip, but she's warm. ]

[goatsongs]

[She's warm, and it's much easier for him to throw an arm around her this way.]

That's more like it.

[...of course, she doesn't love him, and it pains him a little to have her so close - he coughs lightly once but it doesn't turn into a fit - but it's painful to see her suffer because of him, too.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ whatever or however she feels for him, it isn't a match for the kind of love he feels; the flowers are obvious, painful proof of that.

this does not stop her from settling down like there's nowhere else she would rather be. ]

...I'm sorry.

[ her voice is steadier; more resigned than anything ]

[goatsongs]

[No, it isn't the same. It's natural to take comfort from a friend, and Kaiko deserves that much, and Chuuya wants to give it to her.]

Not your fault.

[A murmur as he hugs her close.]

Sorry if I cough on you.