Hanahaki Disease Meme

[misheard]

HANAHAKI DISEASE

The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated, or to somehow wipe away all one’s memories of their beloved person. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.

1. Post your character with name, canon, and ship preferences in subject line. Also include whether you'd prefer your character to be the one suffering from the disease or not.
2. Tag other people.
3. Pain.
4. If you need help choosing specific flowers, this flower meaning chart might be a good starting point.

Comments

[goatsongs]

It's not wrong.

[He bullies people who don't bully him and aren't either cinnamon rolls or so messed up that he can't bring himself to mess with them more.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

... don't call yourself "just some" asshole.

[ it's not wrong. ]

[goatsongs]

Does it even matter what I call myself? I'm not going to do it for much longer.

[Since, you know, he's going to die soon.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

It matters to me. But that's... more than a little selfish, isn't it?

[ it's starting to sink in past the numb shock and the automatic denial. not enough that she can really wrap her head around it all the way, not enough that she can face it head on, but— enough that she can start looking at the way he's been behaving in a new light, and at her own actions.

she's known that a good chunk of her motives in trying to do something for him were in fact no more than a selfish attempt to comfort herself. had accepted that, even; that's just the kind of person she's become, and she'd come to terms with that a while back. but it's starting to dawn on her that her clumsy attempts to be some kind of help have likely just been rubbing his face in the fact that his feelings weren't quite requited—

and love left hanging is painful enough even when the heartache isn't fatally literal. ]

...Chuuya. Am I making things worse by being here?

[goatsongs]

[The hesitation before Chuuya answers that is likely answer enough.

He coughs up flowers more when he sees her, or when he thinks about her, or when he sees the wreck that used to be his phone. There's no denying that she accelerates the process.

But...]

If I'm going to die anyway, I'd rather have you around and speeding it up then hang on a little longer with you not coming by at all.

[What value would he get out of a couple extra days without her?]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ guess who was just thinking in terms of emotional pain, and not that she could quite literally be speeding things up. that realization turns out to be the final straw; she flinches as the first tears spill over, then turns to shove her face against the side of his mattress so he can't look at her.

muffled: ]

...all right.

[goatsongs]

[He can't look at her, no, but that doesn't mean he doesn't know that she's crying. He sets a hand on her back, unusually gentle - or just weak. Could be either, now.]

...Don't go. Please.

[If he has a selfish last request, it's that he doesn't really want to die alone.

Besides. It's not like it's contagious.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ as light as the touch is, it makes her plaster herself the rest of the way against the bed. like she's trying to get as close to him as she can without climbing in there with him. ]

I don't want to. Didn't want to. But I don't want to- to hurt you more just because I'm a s-selfish mess.

[goatsongs]

If you were a selfish mess you wouldn't be here.

[And he wouldn't have fallen for her - though he shouldn't say that out loud.

He rubs her back lightly. It's weird that he's the one comforting her, isn't it...]

[ghostfromthemachine]

I was here for my own peace of mind as much as I was for you, and now I'm all but- begging you to make me feel better about this when you're the one dying and I'm the cause.

If you can- can call yourself an asshole, I can call myself selfish.

[goatsongs]

[Well, he's not going to give up the asshole thing, so he can't fight her on this.]

...Then just get in bed already, I don't feel like getting out.

[If she wants comfort then the least she can do is come to him.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ peeling herself away from the mattress enough to look at him, startled and then sharply intent. despite the glassiness caused by the tears, her eyes are doing that weird thing again, with the light barely reflecting them at all.

after a moment she snuffles, wipes her face off against the side of the mattress, and turns to climb up and carefully tuck herself against his side. her weight is barely enough to make the bed dip, but she's warm. ]

[goatsongs]

[She's warm, and it's much easier for him to throw an arm around her this way.]

That's more like it.

[...of course, she doesn't love him, and it pains him a little to have her so close - he coughs lightly once but it doesn't turn into a fit - but it's painful to see her suffer because of him, too.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ whatever or however she feels for him, it isn't a match for the kind of love he feels; the flowers are obvious, painful proof of that.

this does not stop her from settling down like there's nowhere else she would rather be. ]

...I'm sorry.

[ her voice is steadier; more resigned than anything ]

[goatsongs]

[No, it isn't the same. It's natural to take comfort from a friend, and Kaiko deserves that much, and Chuuya wants to give it to her.]

Not your fault.

[A murmur as he hugs her close.]

Sorry if I cough on you.

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ she wasn't just apologizing for putting him in this situation, however indirectly... but he doesn't need to know that. he doesn't need to know how badly a part of her wants to take advantage of this.

dry ]

I've been coughed on with worse. ...My mother had tuberculosis.

[goatsongs]

Oh.

...Hearing me cough isn't fun then.

[Probably not at all. But there's not much he can really do about it. He holds her a little tighter in apology.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ even if he's weak, that much is still somehow enough to shift her easily. she sighs out a nearly contented sort of sound— she'll take this while she can.

a little wry ]

There's a reason I panicked and broke in.

[goatsongs]

...Sorry. I didn't want you to see.

[If she didn't see, then it'd be easier for her, because she wouldn't find out why it was happening.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

...mm.



Thank you. For telling me.

[goatsongs]

I wish I didn't. It'd be easier if you didn't know why.

[People die all the time. That's just a fact of life. But when you blame yourself and wonder what you could have done, could have not done...

That's something he understands too well.]

/2

[ghostfromthemachine]

...

[ghostfromthemachine]

...it wouldn't. It really wouldn't. I would rather know.

[goatsongs]

Even though it's like this?

[Not her fault, but close enough to be interpreted that way without a leap in logic.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

It's a leap even for me at my worst to decide that you having the poor taste to fall in love with me is further proof that God is punishing me for existing.

[ ...that came out much, much more bitter than she'd intended. she grimaces. ]