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Monsterfucking Meme

Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. Some more humanoid than others. But even the ones that are furthest from human shape deserve love, right? They can be sexy too, in their own way.

Post your character. Note their monstrous traits (monster AUs more than welcome!) Reply to others. Get busy.

I'm not here to police how monstrous is monstrous enough, everybody just be chill and have fun.

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[Tea and pancakes... yeah, that sounds good, actually.]

I can, actually. Can you hand me the frying pan from the cabinet over there?

[He says, as he starts going through the cabinet in front of him to retrieve the ingredients needed for pancakes.]

[One frying pan, retrieved and handed over.]

You're a man of many talents.

Mm, I don't know about that. I think I only started getting better at it with in the last decade or so.

[He had a bad habit of either eating only take out or fast food or... other insects... before he actually started reading up more about cooking.]

You have a long time to get good at things. -I still think I'm pretty lucky.

I suppose that's true.

[However, he allows one free hand to ruffle Suga's hair though while two are working with the oven and getting the pancakes ready.]

But there are still things that you can do that I can't, so I think that helps balance things out a little.

I do my best. You know I'm always willing to help out if there's ever anything I can do for you...

[Tsuchi's job has been dangerous lately. Suga wishes he could do more to ease his burden, and to keep him - and his students - safe.]

I know.

[That gets a sigh from Tsuchigomori. This probably isn't the first time Suga has offered to help after Tsuchigomori had ended up confiding in him about the situation with the supernatural and ghosts living in the school right now. Hanako's brother is up to something again and the clock is ticking closer to Yashiro's fated death... but--]

Honorable Number Seven has told me that they're worried that further outside influence may upset the balance of things more so than it already has lately.

[And since he is considered the leader, his orders are supposed to be followed... though, that only stops as far as the barrier of the school extends. Outside of it, however, Tsuchigomori is allowed to be as involved with Suga as he wants.]

Edited 2021-08-12 09:08 (UTC)

I understand. ...As long as you always come back to me safely, then I'll be happy.

[But if anything ever happens to Tsuchi, he'll blame himself for not preventing it.]

[He manages a small smile at that.]

Don't worry. Even if I might not be able to do much about the current situation yet, I've still got my methods for protecting myself here.

[He has no current plans to risk his own fate by messing around with the fate of the others in the school, regardless of whatever attachments he may have with them right now... not when it would cause grief more so than help by doing so at this time.]

Good.

[He wants to say 'I love you', but... he knows Tsuchigomori doesn't like hearing it. He says it through a soft kiss to the cheek instead.]

Tea's ready.

[It's not that he doesn't like hearing it... so much as thinking about how much he actually does love Suga eventually makes him depressed thinking about the other's lifespan in comparison to his own.]

Thank you. The pancakes are also going to be ready here in a minute.

[Thank you multiple hands for the ability to multitask.]

[Tsuchi is a man of many talents, like he said. And many arms.]

They look delicious.

[After pouring them both some tea-]

How have classes been?

About the same as usual, though I may need to consider after-school detention for a few students who have been showing up late or getting distracted during my class. But, that tends to happen around this time of year, so it's not that odd, as annoying as it is.

Hard to believe anyone isn't paying attention to you.

[It's Tsuchi, there can't possibly be anyone more interesting to pay attention to.]

[Suga, that's because you're in love with us.....]

They're all twelve to thirteen years old, it's hardly a surprise at all that their attention wanders from thinking about class and instead about whatever rumors are circulating around the school or about what they're going to be doing when they get home.

I don't remember being like that at that age...

[Suga when you were twelve you were already cursed by an evil spirit, had nearly gotten your best friend killed, and were training to spend your life protecting a village that hated you.]

Not all twelve year olds grow up the same.

[That's all he will say about that, because he doesn't think that prodding further about Suga's childhood to compare with is a productive thing to do here.]

And to be fair, as far as the students and faculty know, I'm just an average human. In some ways, it's a good sign that I'm not attracting too much attention towards making them think otherwise if they just see me as some boring normal teacher.

...The voice you use when you’re pretending to be normal is weird.

[What happened to his hot boyfriend’s sexy voice??]

[That actually gets Tsuchigomori to turn and look at him, blinking in surprise.]

It is?

[... Apparently no one has said anything to him about that voice choice of his before until now.]

It’s weird and I don’t like it. You sound like a completely different person.

Isn't that kind of the point? To try to not stand out too much with my voice?

It still stands out. Just in the opposite way.

Oh...

... Well, it might be a little late to change it now, at least not until this current batch of students graduate. Otherwise it will be strange for them if my voice suddenly changed again after they've gotten used to how the other one sounds.

That makes sense. Pick something normal next time.

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