[That's so good. The corner of his mouth flickers again as he looks from Takiji's eyes down. It does look nice, he thinks, the way Takiji's arms press against his sides, how comfortable he looks despite being so confined.]
[Soft and thoughtful, as he unfolds from his sitting position and crawls over Takiji. Takiji, who's still flushed and happy, still very beautiful. He'll never stop being too beautiful for words.]
[Akutagawa leans down and kisses him. This kiss is also soft and thoughtful, but probably not for long. There's something about this kind of kiss that helps him learn how Takiji's feeling--whether he's impatient or not--and learning that is what he wants right now.]
[It's difficult not to be impatient. They've only just started, Takiji knows - and he's a little embarrassed over already being this worked up, but that's how things are right now. That's what has Takiji deepening the kiss as best he can with very little leverage.
Rashomon is Akutagawa, and he already has this much of Akutagawa. He doesn't think he can stay soft and chaste.]
[It's not a surprise, really. Takiji rarely wants something so much he pushes past this level of embarrassment to get it. This is important to him; he wants it a lot. And maybe someday Akutagawa will respond to Takiji needing something so strongly with teasing denial, but not today. Maybe never. It's too nice giving Takiji what he wants.]
[So that's what he does now. He still won't touch anywhere else, hands braced on either side of Takiji's head, but he's much better at kissing now. He knows how to make a kiss deep and hot and demanding. He knows that it's okay, not strange, if he lets his tongue flick against Takiji's lower lip. That kind of little tease can be very good, when Takiji is in this sort of mood.]
[Akutagawa is a quick learner. Takiji's not half bad, either - he knows that Akutagawa likes Takiji being loud, that it gives him permission to be loud as well when Takiji's moan slips out of his mouth and into the kiss. He knows how to return a deep and needy kiss measure for measure, how it's not strange, but an invitation if his lips part during a kiss like that.
He doesn't have much to use besides his mouth, so he'll make the most of that.]
[On some level Akutagawa knows it's okay by now, but permission is always encouraging. Takiji's moans make his toes curl; more than that, they push a low rumble, nearly a growl, out of his chest and into Takiji's mouth.]
[He bites down--not hard, but slow--on Takiji's lower lip, tugging gently before letting go and moving back to kiss Takiji how he wants to be kissed. It's deep, it's rough; he lets himself in, his tongue curling against Takiji's before shying away so he can bite again, just a little. It feels good. Soft and chaste is overrated, really.]
[Soft and chaste kisses have a place, but this isn't it. He'd rather have those biting kisses now.]
Aku-
[Akutagawa's name is too long to get out in one gasp. One of his boyfriend's few flaws.
Takiji's body is trying to arch up towards Akutagawa without him telling it to, but Rashomon keeps him mostly still. It's maddening in the same way that it's arousing.]
[It's funny. He doesn't want to tease Takiji. That's not his motivation. He just likes . . . this thing that's happening, the way Takiji's desperation manifests. Takiji seems to like it, too. He thinks Takiji wants it. So it's mutually beneficial, he thinks.]
[Well, that's not quite true. He isn't thinking that hard about this. He's just doing what feels right, trusting in Takiji's trust of him.]
You want me to touch you.
[Quiet and breathy, pressed into another sharp kiss. This isn't a question, either, but he does want to hear it said.]
[He does want it. If he didn't want it, he'd make it clearly known and it would stop. This isn't something that Akutagawa's withholding from him without his consent.
The people who call this 'torture' have never actually been tortured.]
[He does like it. Very much so. It makes him moan against Takiji's mouth, the way this unbelievably beautiful man wants him to please, please make me feel good.]
I want to touch you.
[But he doesn't want to stop kissing quite yet. So he chooses not to, shifting his weight so he can brush his fingers against Takiji's chest. This time he doesn't make Rashomon move for him, touching Takiji through one of the gaps instead. He bites down on Takiji's lip again at the same time the pad of his thumb brushes over Takiji's nipple.]
[Rashomon doesn't have to move aside, because even that small touch draws out a gasp from Takiji, lost somewhere between his lips and Akutagawa's.
Akutagawa wants to touch him, and just that he wants to do that makes Takiji feel good. The actual contact is pleasurable beyond any of Takiji's words.
[Akutagawa pulls back, away from the kiss. This probably wasn't Takiji's intention even a little bit, but Akutagawa needs to see him. Not just to feel the way he arches, begging for touch, but to see it.]
[It's the most beautiful thing on earth. Without thinking about it much, Akutagawa bites his lip, repeating the movement of his thumb, then once more with a slight graze of his thumbnail.]
If you want more, I'll give it to you. If there's somewhere else you want me to touch you, I will. Just tell me.
[It's fine. Honestly, Akutagawa will probably look back on himself and be baffled by his own behavior. Why did he ask that? The answer was obvious. Sex is strange, and he so rarely understands it.]
[He understands Takiji perfectly, though. Takiji wants to be touched everywhere. It makes him smile.]
Okay.
[His hand splays across Takiji's chest, then runs down to his stomach, Rashomon making space for uninterrupted movement. But that's where he stops. Kind of. Kind of, because Rashomon keeps moving. As Akutagawa kisses Takiji gently and rubs slow, soothing circles on his stomach, it's Rashomon that moves just that little bit more to brush against his cock.]
[It's a little warmer than Akutagawa's hand would be. It doesn't feel like a hand at all, really. More than anything, it feels like the rush of Rashomon a few minutes ago, flowing excitedly to lace through Takiji's fingers. It's very recognizable.]
[It's recognizable, familiar, comforting, but Takiji definitely hasn't felt it in this way before. There's a difference between Rashomon holding his hand and Rashomon brushing against his cock.
The moan that leaves Takiji's lips doesn't resemble words so much as pure pleasure and need. He pushes more into Rashomon's touch, as much as he can, not caring at all about what someone else might think about wanting the touch of what Akutagawa most often uses as a weapon. It doesn't matter - it's Akutagawa, as much as his hands are.
It's a shame that he can't keep his eyes open, because Akutagawa's smile is wonderful to look at... but between the kiss and where Akutagawa is touching him (everywhere), there's no way he can manage to open his eyes. If he could, they might be too hazy to actually see anything.]
[That sound out of Takiji's mouth is the most beautiful sound Akutagawa has ever heard. It makes him gasp, then moan back against Takiji's lips, and the sound he makes is the same: all want, all need. He wants, he needs to hear it again.]
[So he doesn't hesitate. It's quick and easy for Rashomon to go from a tiny touch to a solid one, wrapping around Takiji's cock from top to bottom. It never quite stops moving, though. It's part of Akutagawa. It's as excited as he is. So it moves frenetically even when it's still, and when it settles into a careful, pulsing rhythm, that exuberance is still there underneath.]
[As he kisses Takiji fiercely, rubbing his thumbs against the curve of his hipbones, Akutagawa can't help but think that he'd very much like to make Takiji come like this. He's so worked up already . . . But that isn't what Takiji asked for. He has to remember.]
[It's hard to remember anything right now. Even Takiji might forget what he asked for in the face of Rashomon's constant movement around him firm and never stopping even for a second. If he came like this, he'd be happy enough to melt into Akutagawa's arms.
While he can still remember that he asked for something else, though, he rasps in between his groans:]
Aku- please-
[How anyone manages to use complicated sentences in the middle of sex is beyond him. He can only barely get out three syllables, only one of which was a complete word.]
[Akutagawa groans. He can't help it. He doesn't want to stop, Takiji is so beautiful and it almost hurts--but he does stop. Leans down and rests his forehead against Takiji's, looking into his eyes and trying desperately to keep his head. Reluctantly, Rashomon goes mostly still.]
. . . You want me to keep going now?
[His voice comes out rough and strange.]
Can I keep doing this while I do? Or is it . . .
[It might be good, but it might be too much. Maybe Takiji wants too much? But it seems like Takiji knows exactly what he wants and how, if only the words would work right.]
[He won't last, and he's not sure he can go a second time when he's overwhelmed like this. He's not sure he'll last even if Akutagawa stops touching him like this.]
[There's a world of difference between I want and I need. Akutagawa isn't good at words, but he understands the difference. It makes him bury his face in Takiji's shoulder and shudder, reluctant to stop but excited to give Takiji what he wants. What he needs.]
Okay, [he mumbles, forcing Rashomon to be still and stop stroking Takiji.] I'll take care of you.
[That's the main thing, really, and why he's nervous, because what if he can't do that? He'll be frustrated and upset if he hurts Takiji, a possibility he's trying not to focus on. So he stays just for a moment with his face pressed against Takiji's throat, breathing in the smell of him, before he pushes himself up and reaches to the bedside table for the bottle he left there.]
[Having Rashomon pull Takiji's legs apart is easy; getting them situated so they're bent and spread, bound loosely in the same mesh style, is easy, too. Sitting back on his knees between Takiji's spread legs is easy--but that's where it stops, because once Akutagawa gets a proper look at him like that, tied up and exposed and so hard it's got to hurt--]
[There are several moments when breathing is just not an option. He looks at Takiji with dark eyes and a helpless, overcome expression, his fingers curled loose around the bottle and a flush high on his cheeks.]
Takiji . . .
[It's very nearly a whine. He chews his lip for a moment, unsure how to put what he's feeling into words; then he realizes he can't, and the only way to show it is to move. So he unbuttons his pants with a soft hiss of relief, because now he hurts too, and thumbs the bottle open to warm some lube between his fingers. If it was just for him, he wouldn't care, but for Takiji he does. He rests his cheek against Takiji's knee as he does this and just stares at him, awed. He's too beautiful.]
[Take care of him, he means, but then Akutagawa's pulling his Takiji's legs apart, and he's never been so exposed in all his life. There isn't any possible way to hide how hard he is, or the sweat on his skin, or - anything. He can't hide anything.
For someone who's been hiding most of his life, the thought is as freeing as it is terrifying.]
...It's okay if it hurts a little bit. I heard it usually does. You'll be fine.
[Akutagawa is almost certainly worrying about hurting him on accident right now.]
[He can't help but huff out a laugh at that. Only Takiji can make him laugh, honestly, especially the kind that's this self-deprecating. How he's such an open book for this man he genuinely doesn't understand, but it works out.]
You have to tell me if it's too much.
[But of course he'll listen to Takiji, who is still saying what he needs, just in a gentler, more subtle way. It all falls under the category of please hurry up, which is enough of a motivator to overcome most worries.]
[Akutagawa presses a kiss to the inside of Takiji's thigh and presses a finger against his entrance. It's only the slightest of intrusions for a moment, and then just a bit more. His eyes stay trained on Takiji's face, curious and watchful, as he eases inside.]
[To describe that intrusion - well, it's not much, really. Akutagawa's fingers are thin, and he's being careful and slow. It's just strange, not uncomfortable and certainly not painful. And even if it was a little painful, it's still-
Ah, no, but he shouldn't compare it to that time even in his head. That was torture, and this should be as far from torture as both of them can make it.
Takiji's breathing is steady, and he gives Akutagawa a short nod when he realizes that Akutagawa's watching. You can keep going.]
[Akutagawa wasn't personally familiar with the idea of sex and love going hand in hand before he met Takiji. It's hard to imagine anything else now, though. He likes this, the way they can communicate without words through the miasma of worry and uncertainty and need.]
[He smiles in response to Takiji's nod. He's been smiling a lot this evening, even as out of his depth as he is.]
[Carefully, he moves in and out a bit, taking care to note what reactions occur. Not much so far. It's slick and warm and strange, and he doesn't know how he feels about it himself yet, besides curious. After pulling out almost entirely, he takes his time pressing a second finger in alongside the first, his eyes on Takiji's again.]
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[That's so good. The corner of his mouth flickers again as he looks from Takiji's eyes down. It does look nice, he thinks, the way Takiji's arms press against his sides, how comfortable he looks despite being so confined.]
You're beautiful.
You want me to kiss you. [Not quite a question.]
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[It's not a question, just an acknowledgement of fact, but Takiji confirms it anyway, sighting softly.]
Please kiss me.
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[Soft and thoughtful, as he unfolds from his sitting position and crawls over Takiji. Takiji, who's still flushed and happy, still very beautiful. He'll never stop being too beautiful for words.]
[Akutagawa leans down and kisses him. This kiss is also soft and thoughtful, but probably not for long. There's something about this kind of kiss that helps him learn how Takiji's feeling--whether he's impatient or not--and learning that is what he wants right now.]
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Rashomon is Akutagawa, and he already has this much of Akutagawa. He doesn't think he can stay soft and chaste.]
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[It's not a surprise, really. Takiji rarely wants something so much he pushes past this level of embarrassment to get it. This is important to him; he wants it a lot. And maybe someday Akutagawa will respond to Takiji needing something so strongly with teasing denial, but not today. Maybe never. It's too nice giving Takiji what he wants.]
[So that's what he does now. He still won't touch anywhere else, hands braced on either side of Takiji's head, but he's much better at kissing now. He knows how to make a kiss deep and hot and demanding. He knows that it's okay, not strange, if he lets his tongue flick against Takiji's lower lip. That kind of little tease can be very good, when Takiji is in this sort of mood.]
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He doesn't have much to use besides his mouth, so he'll make the most of that.]
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[He bites down--not hard, but slow--on Takiji's lower lip, tugging gently before letting go and moving back to kiss Takiji how he wants to be kissed. It's deep, it's rough; he lets himself in, his tongue curling against Takiji's before shying away so he can bite again, just a little. It feels good. Soft and chaste is overrated, really.]
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Aku-
[Akutagawa's name is too long to get out in one gasp. One of his boyfriend's few flaws.
Takiji's body is trying to arch up towards Akutagawa without him telling it to, but Rashomon keeps him mostly still. It's maddening in the same way that it's arousing.]
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[Well, that's not quite true. He isn't thinking that hard about this. He's just doing what feels right, trusting in Takiji's trust of him.]
You want me to touch you.
[Quiet and breathy, pressed into another sharp kiss. This isn't a question, either, but he does want to hear it said.]
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The people who call this 'torture' have never actually been tortured.]
Please touch me. Please.
[Akutagawa likes it when he says 'please'.]
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I want to touch you.
[But he doesn't want to stop kissing quite yet. So he chooses not to, shifting his weight so he can brush his fingers against Takiji's chest. This time he doesn't make Rashomon move for him, touching Takiji through one of the gaps instead. He bites down on Takiji's lip again at the same time the pad of his thumb brushes over Takiji's nipple.]
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Akutagawa wants to touch him, and just that he wants to do that makes Takiji feel good. The actual contact is pleasurable beyond any of Takiji's words.
His back arches again, the most it can.]
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[It's the most beautiful thing on earth. Without thinking about it much, Akutagawa bites his lip, repeating the movement of his thumb, then once more with a slight graze of his thumbnail.]
If you want more, I'll give it to you. If there's somewhere else you want me to touch you, I will. Just tell me.
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Instead - in between the gasps that Akutagawa's touch draws out of him-]
Please touch me everywhere.
[That covers everything without him being direct, so it's fine??]
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[He understands Takiji perfectly, though. Takiji wants to be touched everywhere. It makes him smile.]
Okay.
[His hand splays across Takiji's chest, then runs down to his stomach, Rashomon making space for uninterrupted movement. But that's where he stops. Kind of. Kind of, because Rashomon keeps moving. As Akutagawa kisses Takiji gently and rubs slow, soothing circles on his stomach, it's Rashomon that moves just that little bit more to brush against his cock.]
[It's a little warmer than Akutagawa's hand would be. It doesn't feel like a hand at all, really. More than anything, it feels like the rush of Rashomon a few minutes ago, flowing excitedly to lace through Takiji's fingers. It's very recognizable.]
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The moan that leaves Takiji's lips doesn't resemble words so much as pure pleasure and need. He pushes more into Rashomon's touch, as much as he can, not caring at all about what someone else might think about wanting the touch of what Akutagawa most often uses as a weapon. It doesn't matter - it's Akutagawa, as much as his hands are.
It's a shame that he can't keep his eyes open, because Akutagawa's smile is wonderful to look at... but between the kiss and where Akutagawa is touching him (everywhere), there's no way he can manage to open his eyes. If he could, they might be too hazy to actually see anything.]
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[So he doesn't hesitate. It's quick and easy for Rashomon to go from a tiny touch to a solid one, wrapping around Takiji's cock from top to bottom. It never quite stops moving, though. It's part of Akutagawa. It's as excited as he is. So it moves frenetically even when it's still, and when it settles into a careful, pulsing rhythm, that exuberance is still there underneath.]
[As he kisses Takiji fiercely, rubbing his thumbs against the curve of his hipbones, Akutagawa can't help but think that he'd very much like to make Takiji come like this. He's so worked up already . . . But that isn't what Takiji asked for. He has to remember.]
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While he can still remember that he asked for something else, though, he rasps in between his groans:]
Aku- please-
[How anyone manages to use complicated sentences in the middle of sex is beyond him. He can only barely get out three syllables, only one of which was a complete word.]
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. . . You want me to keep going now?
[His voice comes out rough and strange.]
Can I keep doing this while I do? Or is it . . .
[It might be good, but it might be too much. Maybe Takiji wants too much? But it seems like Takiji knows exactly what he wants and how, if only the words would work right.]
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[He won't last, and he's not sure he can go a second time when he's overwhelmed like this. He's not sure he'll last even if Akutagawa stops touching him like this.]
I need you to keep going. Please.
[He needs it more than he needs air.]
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Okay, [he mumbles, forcing Rashomon to be still and stop stroking Takiji.] I'll take care of you.
[That's the main thing, really, and why he's nervous, because what if he can't do that? He'll be frustrated and upset if he hurts Takiji, a possibility he's trying not to focus on. So he stays just for a moment with his face pressed against Takiji's throat, breathing in the smell of him, before he pushes himself up and reaches to the bedside table for the bottle he left there.]
[Having Rashomon pull Takiji's legs apart is easy; getting them situated so they're bent and spread, bound loosely in the same mesh style, is easy, too. Sitting back on his knees between Takiji's spread legs is easy--but that's where it stops, because once Akutagawa gets a proper look at him like that, tied up and exposed and so hard it's got to hurt--]
[There are several moments when breathing is just not an option. He looks at Takiji with dark eyes and a helpless, overcome expression, his fingers curled loose around the bottle and a flush high on his cheeks.]
Takiji . . .
[It's very nearly a whine. He chews his lip for a moment, unsure how to put what he's feeling into words; then he realizes he can't, and the only way to show it is to move. So he unbuttons his pants with a soft hiss of relief, because now he hurts too, and thumbs the bottle open to warm some lube between his fingers. If it was just for him, he wouldn't care, but for Takiji he does. He rests his cheek against Takiji's knee as he does this and just stares at him, awed. He's too beautiful.]
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[Take care of him, he means, but then Akutagawa's pulling his Takiji's legs apart, and he's never been so exposed in all his life. There isn't any possible way to hide how hard he is, or the sweat on his skin, or - anything. He can't hide anything.
For someone who's been hiding most of his life, the thought is as freeing as it is terrifying.]
...It's okay if it hurts a little bit. I heard it usually does. You'll be fine.
[Akutagawa is almost certainly worrying about hurting him on accident right now.]
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You have to tell me if it's too much.
[But of course he'll listen to Takiji, who is still saying what he needs, just in a gentler, more subtle way. It all falls under the category of please hurry up, which is enough of a motivator to overcome most worries.]
[Akutagawa presses a kiss to the inside of Takiji's thigh and presses a finger against his entrance. It's only the slightest of intrusions for a moment, and then just a bit more. His eyes stay trained on Takiji's face, curious and watchful, as he eases inside.]
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Ah, no, but he shouldn't compare it to that time even in his head. That was torture, and this should be as far from torture as both of them can make it.
Takiji's breathing is steady, and he gives Akutagawa a short nod when he realizes that Akutagawa's watching. You can keep going.]
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[He smiles in response to Takiji's nod. He's been smiling a lot this evening, even as out of his depth as he is.]
[Carefully, he moves in and out a bit, taking care to note what reactions occur. Not much so far. It's slick and warm and strange, and he doesn't know how he feels about it himself yet, besides curious. After pulling out almost entirely, he takes his time pressing a second finger in alongside the first, his eyes on Takiji's again.]
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