[Alter thread.]

[unknownrival]

[Issei had failed Diarmuid, not the other way around.

He should have known that Shadow was too great for him to defeat. Should have kept Diarmuid far away from it by any means necessary. If he'd used a Command Spell - but he'd hesitated too long on using one, and now his beloved was gone.

He didn't know what to do.

He'd wandered aimlessly around the city, only returning to the temple to sleep and not willing to speak to the other monks. It was an abandonment of his duties there, but he... he couldn't handle that right now. He wanted time to himself, to deal with his failure.

Issei barely registered that he was in the woods. All that mattered was that he was alone.]

Comments

[croibhristeoir]

I don't...want to. I just want...to be alone. You won't let me. I won't let you.

I don't know...what to do.

[unknownrival]

If you want to be alone, you could get rid of me.

[croibhristeoir]

...no. I can't...kill you.

I should hate everything. All I am now is hatred, destruction. But I won't. Won't kill someone that won't fight back.

[unknownrival]

...then you're really stuck, aren't you? Because I won't go away until I'm dead.

[croibhristeoir]

...I know. I think I...know what...I want. But it is something...you won't be able to grant me.

[unknownrival]

What do you want?

[croibhristeoir]

[Diarmuid moved in response to Issei's question--everything about him seemed just as slow and pronounced as his words now. Forming itself out of prana and taking solid form in one ashen pale hand was a golden lance...no, it should have been golden. Instead its brilliant color had dulled and tarnished, not unlike the knight who stabbed its point into the ground between them.]

The only thing...that will end this. And the only thing I ever demand of you...will be the one thing you will not do.

Finish what the shadow started...and kill what remains.

[unknownrival]

[No. Not that.]

I... I couldn't... [But if Diarmid was suffering, wouldn't it be kinder just to end it...?]

I couldn't.

[croibhristeoir]

I told you that you wouldn't be able to.

It's all a contradiction. I am Diarmuid...and I can never be him again. I hate everything...and I don't. You can't save me...because you would have to kill me.

[unknownrival]

I-is there really nothing else I can do for you?

[croibhristeoir]

What else...is left? There's nothing. Nothing left of me but a remnant...that's all this is. A remnant.

[He started laughing--a quiet and deeply unsettling sound. He sounded broken, which wasn't far from the truth. It was the kind of laughter that was nearly indistinguishable from sobbing...the crimson tears from less than sane gold eyes seemed to indicate the latter, while the twisted smile pointed to the former.]

[unknownrival]

[Silently, Issei picked up the lance and examined it carefully.]

...

Hold still.

[croibhristeoir]

Don't...lose your nerve.

[unknownrival]

I won't.

[He took a deep breath to steady himself, gripping the lance tightly enough that he feared breaking it.

This was all he could do for him. He could do it. Somehow.

Issei aimed at Diarmuid's heart, forced back tears, and plunged.]

[croibhristeoir]

[...oh. That hurt. That hurt, but it was alright. If it hurt, that meant some part of him was still Diarmuid--still his Diarmuid. That was important, even if he couldn't remember why.]

I'm...sorry.

[His voice seemed a little quieter, more like the knight Issei had known rather than the vengeful shadow. Diarmuid raised a shaking hand to rest lightly against Issei's face, a faint smile breaking through his twisted and corrupted appearance.]

I love you.

[Faint and strained as it was, the smile remained on Lancer's face until he disappeared.]

[unknownrival]

[Issei stood there for a very long time after Diarmuid disappeared, and did not move.

He had killed his love. There was nothing in this world that could soothe him.]