For ninjou.

[tenimuho]

[Tonight, Dazai is really drunk.

This is not different from most other nights in their favorite bar, save for a few things.

1. Ango isn't here.

2. Dazai is really drunk. The kind of drunk that has Odasaku concerned that he might be trying to die through liver failure. That drunk.

And so, it's with hesitation that he speaks up.]

Maybe you should stop drinking for tonight.

Comments

[ninjou]

[Dazai had noted the awkwardness, the strange shifting every time Odasaku looked at him, the way the food was prepared so cleanly and perfectly, how the entire kitchen and living room were spotless... Something's up. He doesn't dare guess what.

Instead of wondering much, he'll let Odasaku tell him. He stays in his seat at the table, putting an elbow on the table and propping his chin up on his hand.]

A surprise? For me?

[tenimuho]

Mm. I hope you'll like it.

[Odasaku takes a moment to just inhale and calm himself. He plays with the small box in his pocket, not sure when exactly he's supposed to take it out, and speaks again.]

The reality of us being together is that we're never going to be able to be public about it. It would be dangerous for both of us. I know that. But... I still want to make a promise to you. No matter what happens, I won't leave your side.

[He pauses to gauge Dazai's reaction.]

[ninjou]

[The smile shifts slightly toward concern as Odasaku speaks, but it's not unkind. It's the sweetest, gentlest concern. Like he wants to hold Odasaku and make him stop looking so uptight. But the words are magic and they oddly soothe Dazai's desire to do anything but rest his arm on the table and relax.]

I believe you. I'd kill for you. [He probably has.] I'll be with you as long as I can.

[tenimuho]

[It's reassuring to hear that, and Odasaku manages a smile, though it's still tinged with nervousness.]

I know. I just wanted to show it.

[Now the box comes out of his pocket, set on the table and opened to reveal a silver ring with a single small garnet.]

You don't need to actually wear it [he understands if even that's too much], but - it means something to me.

[ninjou]

[Dazai's heart skips a beat when that nervous smile is leveled at him. It's loud as hell when that box comes out. The part of him that loves death fall so silent when he worries that it's a marriage proposal, and quietly simmers when it's something lovely and reasonable and... so Odasaku.]

I'll wear it.

[It's resolute, though quiet. He nudges the box back toward Odasaku.]

If you want a guy to accept your undying devotion, at least do it right.

[He'll just hold a hand out now.]

[tenimuho]

[The nervousness fades from Odasaku's smile, turning into one of pure happiness and contentment.

He slips the ring on Dazai's finger. It fits, though he hadn't worried too much about that part.]

I love you so much.

[ninjou]

[That look adds another day to Dazai's life. Every smile Odasaku offers him makes him happier than the one before it.]

I love you, too. Thank you.

[Standing so they can be eye to eye, Dazai leans in quite seriously.]

Someday... when I stop trying to die for good, maybe when life is kinder, let's really do this. Properly. Let's get married.

[Of course Dazai has his motives for this, and he'll make them plain.]

I'd like to see us have the chance to get dressed up like that. Say things we can't say anywhere else, that nobody else needs to hear. I want to see you smile and know that that smile is just for me.

[Oh.]

Ahh... I got carried away.

[tenimuho]

[He nods, smiling a little more gently.]

When life is different. Knowing that I'm yours and you're mine - there's nothing I'd like more.

[His heart feels like it's about to burst with happiness, and he can only express it by tugging Dazai close to him.]

[ninjou]

[He ducks his head against Odasaku's shoulder.]

This is more than enough, though. You didn't have to do this.

[tenimuho]

But I wanted to.

[So he did. Odasaku rubs circles on Dazai's back.]

[ninjou]

It's everything.

[He sighs, and he's never been happier. He doesn't even know what to do with these feelings.]

I don't deserve this. Or you.

[tenimuho]

I disagree.

[He makes Odasaku happy. That's reason enough to deserve someone's love, he thinks.]