For ninjou.

[tenimuho]

[Tonight, Dazai is really drunk.

This is not different from most other nights in their favorite bar, save for a few things.

1. Ango isn't here.

2. Dazai is really drunk. The kind of drunk that has Odasaku concerned that he might be trying to die through liver failure. That drunk.

And so, it's with hesitation that he speaks up.]

Maybe you should stop drinking for tonight.

Comments

[tenimuho]

[He thought this might happen. Good thing they didn't actually do anything intimate.]

I love you. All of that actually happened.

[ninjou]

[Dazai smiles and nods and reaches for the soup.]

Alright.

[Nope.]

[tenimuho]

You don't believe me.

[Dazai why.]

[ninjou]

You don't love me.

[Sip.]

I don't love me. And besides, when you get older, you'll probably think this was stupid. You're... seven? Eight? Years older than me. We have completely different paths in life.

And besides that... I'm pretty impossible to love. I'm kind of an asshole.

[tenimuho]

I'm five years older than you.

[He corrects that first, because it's the plainest, simplest part of all Dazai's saying to fix.

As for the rest... Odasaku's eyes narrow. Dazai has, for one of very few times in their friendship, sincerely made him mad.]

I know what you are, Dazai. You don't have to tell me that you're not a kind person, because I know you. You don't have to tell me that we're different people - I know that too.

It's my decision.

[ninjou]

It's your decision.

[He sips the soup. He sips it and looks into it and smiles a little sadly because he knows he's upset Odasaku in a way that's above and beyond his normal cruelty.]

I love you, though. It's hard to explain. I really hope I didn't dream that.

[tenimuho]

You didn't. I'll tell you over and over again until you believe it.

[Even when he's mad.]

[ninjou]

You know...

[God, this soup is good. It's so good. He's slurping for a second. He'll swallow before he continues.]

Do you believe in fate? Destiny? Predetermination?

[tenimuho]

Not really.

[Where'd that come from?]

[ninjou]

[Dazai doesn't either. But... well, nevermind.]

I see, I see. Well, me either.

[tenimuho]

Why'd you bring it up?

[????????]

[ninjou]

No reason. I was curious.

[And he's lying.]

[tenimuho]

Alright.

[And Odasaku believes him, because... it's Odasaku.]

Do you need anything else? More water?

[ninjou]

[He wants so desperately to believe that all of this will be okay that he's willing to stretch his own mind to consider the possibility that their meeting and becoming friends and now more was predestined and always meant to succeed.]

I'll probably take a shower in a little while, if that's okay.

[tenimuho]

That's fine. You can use anything I have.

[Except the toothbrush, there's a limit to how much he'll give up.]

[ninjou]

Can I borrow a shirt?

[A little soft, breathy laugh, and Dazai looks down at his soup.]

Unless you're fine with me walking around with nothing on but my underwear.

[tenimuho]

The shirt would be better. It might be a little big on you.

[...It might not be much better, actually. They're starting the Boyfriend Shirt Stealing trope early.]

[ninjou]

[Odasaku, get ready to fall harder in love with your accidentally cute boyfriend.]

I'll borrow the shirt, then. It'll be comfortable if it's a little big.

[tenimuho]

[It will be really, really hard not to kiss him a lot when he sees it.]

Take any one you like.

[ninjou]

[Kiss him. Do it. Get sick.]

The purple one you wear when you're going to meetings. I want that one.

[tenimuho]

[but then they'll have to postpone having sex even longer]

Any reason why?

[ninjou]

[Oh. Right.]

Because I think of it when I remember when I fell for you. You were wearing it.

[tenimuho]

...Oh. I'm glad I kept it then.

[It's getting kind of old by now.]

[ninjou]

Right. Me too. You don't wear it as much now, but I figured you still had it.

[tenimuho]

I might not ever get rid of it now.

[It's suddenly much more sentimental.]