IC INBOX MEME

[misheard]

How this works:
-Every comment thread will be a different character's inbox. (Email, texting, whatever works.)
-Leave them a message.
-???
-Profit.

Comments

[whitehairedprettyboy]

I don't know which I'm less fond of: the inane details of your daily life or the incessant suggestions of sex acts you'd like us to perform.

[ They're both terrible. ]

[diabolarchy]

Does it matter if I add cute emotes to them? Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

[whitehairedprettyboy]

I can think of no conceivable universe in which that would be any help whatsoever.

[diabolarchy]

You have such a small imagination. Plus you're no fun.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

I have a perfectly normal-sized imagination, thank you. I just prefer to employ it on things that aren't abysmally stupid.

If I'm "no fun", I strongly suggest you turn your attentions to someone who is. And leave me alone.

[diabolarchy]

Nope! ♥(✿ฺ´∀`✿ฺ)ﾉ

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ If Valmont were willing to degrade himself by using emoticons, this response would consist of nothing but :||||||||||. As it is: ]

If you insist on messaging me, you might at least make yourself useful and give me some advance notice when you're going to show up. My employees have taken to giving me an almost comically wide berth, and frankly, it's getting tiresome.

[diabolarchy]

Is this because I hit on them? It's because of that, isn't it.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

I don't know why you feel you have to ask that question.

[diabolarchy]

Some people don't mind me hitting on them, you know.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

People whom I have conveniently never met.

[diabolarchy]

Of course! I have a wide circle of friends.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

I would be highly surprised if you had a wide circle even of people who tolerated your presence for very long.

[diabolarchy]

That's because you're close-minded and unimaginative.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

No, it's because you're completely insufferable!

[diabolarchy]

That's just a bonus!

[whitehairedprettyboy]

That is not a compliment.

[diabolarchy]

Oh, it wasn't? You need to be more clear about these things.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

Somehow I have the feeling that even if I were to call you the most loathsome, degenerate, morally bankrupt pervert ever to walk the earth - all of which is true, incidentally - you would find some way to take it as a compliment.

[diabolarchy]

You're completely correct about that. See, you know me so well.

[whitehairedprettyboy]

[ No response, mostly because Valmont has just thrown his phone at the wall and it takes a while to figure out how to put it back together. ]

[diabolarchy]

[Causing property damage is even more fun indirectly.]