The Alternate Universe Meme

[misheard]

(I couldn't think of anything else appropriate off the top of my head)

The Alternate Universe Meme

1. Comment with your character.
2. Others will reply with an AU idea.
3. Thread. Profit.

AUs can be any AU of any kind, but if you need ideas, I have this masterlist and this tumblr to get you started.

Comments

[dialo]

I don't know if they have or not. I was hoping to get my summoning done early.

[Better early than late and miss her window.]

[cuethemasong]

Cute and on top of things.... [And he'll be taking her hands into his as he leans into her face.] The two of us are certainly compatible for sure.

[dialo]

[Wow okay that is entirely too close. She leans away from him.]

Stop that. Right now.

[cuethemasong]

[Leaaaaaans in again.]

But you and I were destined to be together according to the summon.

[dialo]

I was destined to fight battles with you. You touching me is not part of the contract. Let go.

[Using a Command Spell would be a terrible strategic choice here.]

[cuethemasong]

[He'll obediently let go for now. It wouldn't be the last time that he did that.]

But you ARE a mage, right? I'm sure you know the standard process for what happens whenever I end up losing mana.

[dialo]

I take a long nap to help restore my own mana more quickly, thus providing more to you.

That's all.

[There is absolutely no way she's doing that other thing. Not even if her life depends on it.]

[cuethemasong]

[Hear that sound? It's the sound of hopes smashing to pieces.]

--THAT'S TOTALLY UNSEXY AND ANTI-CLIMATIC!!

[dialo]

[...Trolling him is actually kind of fun. She smiles a wicked smile.]

Or, maybe you'd prefer just disappearing from mana deprivation?

[cuethemasong]

[ERK.]

Nonono! N... Now let's not go that far!

[dialo]

Then you might not want to complain so much about how you're not getting any from me.

[Because he's not, no matter how much he whines.]

[cuethemasong]

Even so... I won't give up on our destiny.

[One had to give him points in determination... Even if it was in the wrong place at the moment.]

Anyway! Let me take a gander at your place. Gotta know our home base more thoroughly.

[dialo]

Very well.

[It's a rather modest house, actually. Aside from the large basement used for magical affairs, there's really nothing that distinguishes it from any other suburban house.]

[cuethemasong]

[As he's looking around, Arata hums to himself. This would actually be a pretty good hiding place from other masters.]

Huh. This is pretty old fashioned. I was expecting something huge like a mansion or something like that.

[dialo]

I'm afraid I live a very plain lifestyle. Does that bother you?

[Not that she really cares, but it'd be best to get her Servant's grievances out in the open.]

[cuethemasong]

Not really! It's pretty handy if we want to keep ourselves below enemy radar.

[That actually sounded like a competent battle assessment... until he speaks again.]

I'm more interested in where your porn collection if you have any.

[dialo]

I don't have one.

[Can this Servant sound intelligent for more than two seconds at a time? Probably not.]

[cuethemasong]

Bummer. Well, I can go buy some magazines myself later.

[IS A HEROIC SPIRIT SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THIS??]

And if you don't have familiars to watch over the house, I have my Grimoires to handle that job.

[dialo]

First of all, with whose money do you think you'll be buying those?

Second of all, that won't be necessary, I have familiars to keep eyes open.

[Not particularly strong ones, but still.]

[cuethemasong]

First of all, that's good.

And second of all, you are the master here. Give your servant some leeway and rewards.

[dialo]

Your rewards will not include buying porn with my money.

[What they will be, she hasn't decided yet. But they definitely won't be that.]

[cuethemasong]

Nothing gets past you, does it? [DAMN.] Well, what if I bought a video game or something?

[dialo]

What kind of video game?

[She's not letting you get anything with more than an upskirt.]

[cuethemasong]

[There's a short pause.]

Ummm... An RPG? You know what those are, right?

[dialo]

Of course I know. I don't live under a rock.

...Actually, it's stranger that an ancient hero would know.