Thread continuation for thetaintedsorrow.

[goatsongs]

[from here]

Heh. I can think of plenty of people who'd call me vain for drinking to that one. Lucky I'm drinking with you instead.

[Chuuya drinks, naturally.]

Well, never have I ever been a sexy redhead.

Comments

[goatsongs]

[Chuuya flops down on the couch again.]

If you don't come snuggle, I'm going to need to hit you with a pillow.

[Not really, but it's easier than saying 'I need to hold you and reassure myself you're real and okay'.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

You drive a hard bargain.

[Chuuya curls up next his boyfriend and tugs a blanket up over the two of them.]

I’m sorry that you had to see me like that.

[goatsongs]

[Much better. Chuuya cuddles up to him as close as he can.]

You've already seen me with markings on my skin and a less than stellar mental state. Fair's fair.

[...He just couldn't have potentially killed mafia-Chuuya like that.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

When I was partners with Dazai the Mafia used me as a weapon in that state. Full Corruption is much worse; I would’ve leveled the building and probably killed you in the process if I’d gone completely under.

[Double Black wasn’t infamous for nothing.]

I hate it...not having a surefire way to snap out of it...

[goatsongs]

I can't even imagine.

[Even when he's breaking down, he knows what will fix him again, and he'd never snap out of that state to find that he'd killed someone important. It really doesn't compare to Corruption except in a superficial sense.]

As long as I'm around, I won't stop trying to bring you back to your senses. I promise.

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Chuuya’s expression dims at that; as much as he appreciates the sentiment, he couldn’t bear to be the one to kill poet-Chuuya. He loves him too goddamn much to possibly live with himself should he ever hurt him...]

Thank you.

[Chuuya’s breath hitches then, and he buries his face in his boyfriend’s chest.]

I dunno if I can live without you...

[goatsongs]

[Hearing that, when they just talked about how poet-Chuuya won't be here forever even as much as he wants to... it makes his stomach churn.

He pets his boyfriend's back gently, and starts to speak in the careful tones of someone who is reciting something very important.]

When a loved one dies, you have to commit suicide.

When a loved one dies, no other recourse remains.

But even so, if your life is long,
And the consequences of your action run deep,

The inspiration to serve will grow.
The inspiration to serve will grow.

Because a loved one has died,
Because that person is definitely gone,

Because you can’t do anything,
For their sake, for their sake,

The inspiration to serve must grow,
The inspiration to serve must grow.

[thetaintedsorrow]

[The moment poet-Chuuya begins reciting those words Chuuya breaks down, tears flowing freely as he shudders and sobs into his boyfriend’s shirt.]

I can’t...I can’t...

[He knows that he’s strong enough to withstand this; he has to be. People need him, even if it’s for less than moral reasons. He has subordinates to look out for, a city to protect. He can’t just die...

But right now that feels like the only possible option when facing his boyfriend’s death.]

[goatsongs]

[There's more to that poem - it's a long one - but the second part can only start once you've decided to live.

Instead of going on, Chuuya wipes some of the tears off mafia-Chuuya's face.]

You can. You're stronger than that.

[If even poet-Chuuya could go on a little longer, then mafia-Chuuya can.]

It won't make me happy if you try to follow after me.

[thetaintedsorrow]

[It’s takes another few good minutes of sobbing before Chuuya’s tears finally begin to slow and stop. He sniffles pitifully for a bit before he finally finds his voice, though it’s shaky and strained.]

Okay.

[He feels incredibly selfish for reacting this way, given everything Poet-Chuuya had lost in his previous life, but how can he ever agree to let go of someone he loves when he’s never loved this deeply before?]

I’ll go on. For you.

[goatsongs]

[Chuuya can't call it selfish. After all, he's the one who wrote those words. He wouldn't have written them if he hadn't once been the one saying I can't go on without you.]

Good.

[He holds his boyfriend close to him.]

I love you so much. More than anyone.

[thetaintedsorrow]

I love you too. More than anyone.

[Chuuya kisses his boyfriend’s cheek, his eyelashes still wet with tears.]

I might just get that poem you wrote me before tattooed on my back. At least a couple verses, anyway.

[goatsongs]

[Well, now he's blushing bright red to the tips of his ears. It's at least lightened the mood some.]

W-what are you going to say if someone asks you about it?

[Tattoos always get asked about.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Cuuuuute. He kisses the tip of one of those red ears.]

That the love of my life wrote it for me and I wanted to carry it with me always.

[Look, he’s no poet, but he can certainly be romantic when he wants to be.]

Mafia are supposed to have dragons and such tattooed on them, but this means so much more.

[goatsongs]

If you say that I'm going to spontaneously combust. Even if I'm across the city. I'll know.

[This is so!! Embarrassing!!!]

[thetaintedsorrow]

Are you embarrassed of being mushy with me?

[So cuuuuuuuuuuute!!]

Chuuya~

[He reaches up to snatch his boyfriend’s hat away with a smirk, holding it just out of reach.]

Say something romantic~

[goatsongs]

[Chuuya's still going to grab for his hat anyway, and scowl when he can't reach it.]

How could you betray me like this?

[Maybe Mafia-Chuuya just relishes getting to be the one to hold something out of someone else's reach for once, but still, that's mean.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

Cause you’re cute when you’re huffy~

[Chuuya removes his own hat and places it on his boyfriend’s head instead before planting poet-Chuuya’s on his own.]

How do I look?

[goatsongs]

[Is this the equivalent of seeing your boyfriend in your shirt, but for Chuuyas? Because it's definitely appealing.]

Handsome enough that I might forgive you for being a hat thief.

[He was going to do that anyway.]

What about me?

[thetaintedsorrow]

Sexy.

[It totally is like seeing your boyfriend wearing your shirt, but for Chuuyas. It’s way hotter than it should be.

He leans over to press a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips before pulling away with a smirk.]

I’d love to see you in nothing but the hat sometime.

[goatsongs]

I can make that happen.

[Maybe not tonight, it's been a long day for both of them, but it's definitely on his to-do list.]

Anything else you'd like?

[thetaintedsorrow]

[He could be sappy and say “just you”, but he really doesn’t want to cry again.]

You in a maid outfit~

[goatsongs]

[Enough sappiness for a while, they've cried enough tonight.]

Oh, now it won't be a surprise. I bought the outfit already and everything.

[thetaintedsorrow]

You’d look sexy as hell in one.

[He can’t tell if poet-Chuuya is joking or not, but he can hope...]

What about you? Anything you want me to do?

[goatsongs]

[While he said it in a teasing way, he does actually already have the outfit, bought with the intention of surprising his boyfriend.]

Would you let me blindfold you?