Thread continuation for thetaintedsorrow.

[goatsongs]

[from here]

Heh. I can think of plenty of people who'd call me vain for drinking to that one. Lucky I'm drinking with you instead.

[Chuuya drinks, naturally.]

Well, never have I ever been a sexy redhead.

Comments

[thetaintedsorrow]

[It’s true, there are no magic words that Chuuya can say to take away the pain, but he can hold poet-Chuuya for as long as he needs and be a shoulder to lean on. Drinking and fucking work well as temporary distractions, but the only real way to heal is to talk about the things that make your heart ache, even if doing so makes it feel like you’re being torn apart.]

I’m sorry. You were alone, weren’t you? I can’t even begin to imagine...

[Chuuya’s stomach clenches and his heart sinks even further when he feels other-Chuuya trembling against him, and all he can do is hold him tight and gently stroke his hair, his voice a soft murmur.]

You can cry.

[Crying isn’t a sign of weakness, and the person he loves so much shouldn’t have to hold back on his account.]

[goatsongs]

["You can cry."

He hasn't been told that. He might not have listened to anyone else - wouldn't have even let them get close enough to know that he needed to cry, if he had his way. But with other-Chuuya, who's already seen him weak...

For the first time since he came back to this world, Chuuya lets himself cry over the son who deserved an extra year or two of life far more than he himself does. He sobs into his boyfriend's chest, and keeps sobbing until he's cried out all of his tears.

When it's over, he just sits there, holding onto other-Chuuya, until he finally manages in a tiny voice:]

...Thank you.

[thetaintedsorrow]

[It’s heartbreaking to hear his boyfriend cry like this, so mournfully and full of the kind of despair that Chuuya himself has yet to experience, and hopes he never has to. The closest thing he’s ever had to a family is the Mafia, and he’s grown used to dealing with the loss of men he might’ve called friends, but a son? His own flesh and blood? He can only imagine that pain...

Chuuya holds the love of his life tightly, supporting him until he feels like he’s no longer falling apart.]

You’re welcome.

[He kisses the top of Chuuya’s head softly, his own tears threatening to fall.]

I love you.

[goatsongs]

I love you. So much.

[So much that other-Chuuya is the first of his reasons to get out of bed in the morning, the first of his reasons to want to continue to be here.]

...Stay a little longer?

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Chuuya now has a reason to try and come home safe, and a reason to never think about how much he’s been hurt in the past ever again.]

I love you. I’ll say it as much as I can. Promise.

[And he’ll stay as long as he can, too, consequences be damned.]