Thread continuation for thetaintedsorrow.

[goatsongs]

[from here]

Heh. I can think of plenty of people who'd call me vain for drinking to that one. Lucky I'm drinking with you instead.

[Chuuya drinks, naturally.]

Well, never have I ever been a sexy redhead.

Comments

[thetaintedsorrow]

Oh...so they weren’t kids when they died?

[That’s good, at least. That means they got to live full lives, right?]

Just out of curiousity...is there a Kouyou Ozaki among you guys?

[goatsongs]

[Full-ish.]

There is. He's Izumi Kyouka and Tokuda Shuusei's teacher. I don't know him that well either.

[thetaintedsorrow]

Kouyou Ozaki is the woman that raised me.

[He glances up at the ceiling, looking a tiny bit nostalgic.]

She’s not exactly a good person, but she was kind enough to me, and taught me how to survive in the Mafia.

[So, not exactly a mother figure, but close enough.]

Mori Ougai took Dazai under his wing. I really have no idea how that went, but considering how the bastard turned out...

[goatsongs]

...Probably not great parenting.

[You can't entirely blame parents for how their children ended up, but raising someone in the mafia doesn't help.]

If I ever get the chance, I want to thank your Ozaki.

[He's glad Mafia-Chuuya was able to survive this long, long enough for him to meet him.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Dawww, now he’s blushing as he nuzzles into other-Chuuya’s neck.]

I’d introduce you. I don’t think she’d try to murder you if I told her who you were.

[No guarantees, of course.]

I still dunno why there’s so many dead authors that share names with people I know, but I’m glad you’re here.

[But...]

Even if you probably never asked to be summoned like that.

[goatsongs]

Some people get to live longer or get summoned after they should be dead. Some people don't. Just depends on chance.

[...he doesn't sound that happy.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

...

[Chuuya can sense the sadness in his boyfriend’s words, and he truly wishes he were able to kiss all his worries away.]

It’s selfish, but...I wouldn’t have gotten to meet you otherwise, so...

[He’s glad that other-Chuuya is here, but hadn’t considered how painful it must be to essentially be resurrected when most everyone else you knew is dead.]

[goatsongs]

[Oh, Mafia-Chuuya. It's worse than that.]

I don't think it's selfish. ...I'd never know what I was missing if I hadn't met you.

[Maybe he can't kiss all Chuuya's pain away, but he lessens it just by being near.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Don't mind him. He’s just getting super emotional over here.]

You’re not allowed to scare me like that again, got it? I don’t care if I gotta haul around ink all the time.

[A deep breath, because he’s about to say something that he’s never said to anyone before in his life.]

Because I...love you.

[goatsongs]

[There's a moment where Chuuya doesn't understand what other-Chuuya just said. Those are words he never thought he'd hear addressed to him - not now, not after everything. Not when he pushes people away and clings to the idea that none of them have any reason to care for him, let alone...

Tears well up in Chuuya's eyes, and he tries to speak - can't, he's too choked up. Instead he clings to his boyfriend, burying his face into his shoulder.

They're happy tears, promise.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Chuuya honestly has no idea if what he feels towards poet-Chuuya fits the traditional definition of “love”, but he’s also never been one to care about fitting into some mold set by society, so he’s going to rewrite the definition to fit exactly how he feels about this man. Besides, caring about someone more than you care about yourself and wanting to spend everyday by their side seems close enough.

He kisses Chuuya on the forehead and whispers those words again, over and over, because he really can’t say it enough.

He’s getting a little teary-eyed himself.]

[goatsongs]

[Between the tears, Chuuya manages to speak. Even if he's choked up, even if he's shaking a little, he has to say it. He has to tell Chuuya-]

I love you...

[The most important three words he's ever strung together.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Hearing other-Chuuya return his feelings is enough to set off another round of tears, and Chuuya holds his boyfriend tightly as they both pour their souls out to each other.]

You won’t have to be alone anymore...

[And neither will he. Fuck you, Dazai.

Soon the tears die down into sniffles, and Chuuya pulls back with a cheesy grin.]

Too bad I can’t just move into the library.

[goatsongs]

You sure? We could share a room. Wouldn't even have to change the sign on the door.

[...Of course, he knows the reason why they can't has nothing to do with not having room or inconvenience.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

I really would if I could...

[But tiny-Chuuya has already gotten injured simply by being associated with Mafia Chuuya, so that’s out of the question. He could never endanger him further by sharing the same living space. He’d also never forgive himself if any of the other dead authors came to harm because of him...]

But it’s not like I’m gonna leave Yokohama anytime soon. I promise, you don’t have to worry about me running off.

[goatsongs]

[what if he got writer-dazai hurt though]

I know I don't. And you know where you can find me. Even if I'm in a book, just wait around and I'll see you as soon as I get out.

[Because it's impossible for mafia-Chuuya to follow him inside a book.]