Thread continuation for thetaintedsorrow.

[goatsongs]

[from here]

Heh. I can think of plenty of people who'd call me vain for drinking to that one. Lucky I'm drinking with you instead.

[Chuuya drinks, naturally.]

Well, never have I ever been a sexy redhead.

Comments

[thetaintedsorrow]

Try me.

[Seriously, he’s seen some ridiculous shit in his life. How bizarre could it be? Surely no more odd than a whale shaped airship.]

If you tell me I’ll return the favor by answering a question about myself.

[goatsongs]

[Blandly:]

I'm the summoned spirit of a dead author who goes inside books to fight monsters that are eating literature.

[...you said 'try me'.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Well then. That is...

Certainly not what he expected.

Chuuya turns to look at tiny-Chuuya incredulously, and though he might call bullshit on just about anyone else, he has a feeling that no matter how odd it may sound, every word is completely true.]

You’re not lying, are you?

[goatsongs]

[Chuuya shakes his head. As stupid as it sounds, it's true.]

Have you got a knife I can borrow for two seconds? This might be easier with evidence.

[thetaintedsorrow]

Uh...okay...

[Normally he’d object to giving up his prized knife, but he thinks that other-Chuuya has earned the benefit of a doubt.

He pulls out the butterfly knife from his pants pocket and hands it over with a slightly concerned expression.]

[goatsongs]

Thanks.

[Chuuya takes it in his left hand - it's obvious by now that he's left-handed - and sets his right hand on the bar.

And then stabs the back of his hand.

Right away it's obvious what's wrong - the knife doesn't come away with red blood, but a black liquid, thinner. The wound on his hand 'bleeds' the same black liquid. It's the consistency and color of ink.]

Okay, done.

[He holds Chuuya's knife out to him.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

[WOW OKAY Chuuya had expected maybe a little cut or something, but tiny-Chuuya goes hardcore and stabs his own hand, and-

Oh. OH.

So it’s all true...

That, or he’s more wasted than he’d thought.]

The hell?! You didn’t need to go that goddamn far!

[Chuuya pulls a handkerchief out of his waistcoat pocket and quickly wraps the wound with impossibly wide eyes.]

Okay, I believe you, so don’t do that shit again.

[goatsongs]

It's not that big a deal...

[Benefits(?) of being injured to almost falling apart on a regular basis: a completely blase attitude towards minor injuries.]

I wasn't going to do it more than once anyway.

[thetaintedsorrow]

Good. I don’t have that many rags.

[Chuuya is used to patching up wounds in his line of work, but part of him wonders if it’s even necessary for tiny-Chuuya, considering that he’s apparently already dead...]

So you fight? Every day? To save books?

[It still sounds completely unbelievable, but bleeding ink is undeniable proof.]

Why?

[goatsongs]

If I don't, they'll disappear, along with people's memories of them. I'm not humble enough to want people to forget everything I've done.

[Even if this Chuuya doesn't remember his name, he should be well-known.]

Besides, it's not like I've got anything better to do now.

[thetaintedsorrow]

[Chuuya can understand that; were he famous for anything other than destruction he supposes he’d feel the same.

He knows what it’s like to feel forgotten, after all.]

What about that Dazai guy? He does that too?

[goatsongs]

Yep. He's just as dead as I am.

[...maybe a little more depending on if you give bonus points for trying to be dead...]

[thetaintedsorrow]

Ah.

[Dead is dead in Chuuya’s book.

He downs the rest of his whiskey before ordering another, and honestly? He’s still trying to process all this. How the hell is it possible to come back from the dead? Delving into books he can believe, since he’s witnessed it first hand, but everything else? He just can’t seem to wrap his head around it.]

You don’t seem dead to me. I believe you, I’m just saying. You’re pretty warm and lively for a dead guy.

[goatsongs]

It's not hard to be livelier than a corpse.

[He's just saying.]

I don't pay too much attention to the specifics of how transmigration or whatever works. Just the practical parts where I shoot things.

[thetaintedsorrow]

Shoot? So you’re good with a gun, huh?

[Chuuya himself prefers knives, and of course his ability, but guns also have many uses, and he’s a decent shot.]

By the way, you haven’t asked me anything yet. About myself.

[goatsongs]

[...oh, right, other-Chuuya said if he answered his question he could ask some about himself...]

Are you actually a businessman?

[Somehow he doubts it, considering how well he took both the weirdness and Chuuya stabbing himself.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

Yeah. For the Port Mafia.

[That totally counts as being a businessman, right?]

Obviously it’s not something I go around announcing to the world, but it’s true.

[goatsongs]

Huh.

[Chuuya accepts that with little more than a raised eyebrow. It's not in the running for weirdest thing in his life right now.]

That explains your weird hours.

[thetaintedsorrow]

Yeah.

[Chuuya would normally never reveal such details about himself, but there’s something about tiny-Chuuya that just keeps drawing him back in, so Chuuya feels that he deserves to know.]

I’ve also been wondering...

[Yes, he’s nosy.]

Have you banged your Dazai?

[goatsongs]

[Okay, that gets more surprise, and a disbelieving laugh.]

You saw him when I was just talking to him. He'd have a heart attack if I hit on him. Or he'd just pass out, and I'm not into that.

[thetaintedsorrow]

Hey, how was I supposed to know?

[He can totally picture tiny-Chuuya domming the hell out of redhead Dazai, which brings an amused grin to his lips.

Oh look, he’s out of whiskey again. When did that happen?]

So how many other dead authors are there in that library?

[goatsongs]

Forty-five or so, last time I counted.

[He's rounding, but it's pretty close.]

Some of them are alright.

[thetaintedsorrow]

Holy shit...that’s a lot of dead guys running around.

[At least he’s assuming that they’re mostly male, considering tiny-Chuuya has only brought up other guys so far.]

I don’t mind my coworkers. It’s Dazai I can’t fucking stand.

[God, if there were a way to switch Dazai’s he totally would. Screw that bandage wasting machine.]

Are any of them as good looking as you?

[Silver-tongued devil.]

[goatsongs]

You flatterer.

[Not that Chuuya minds.]

And depends on your taste. Ozaki's the prettiest one, I'm not going to fight him for that title.

[They are indeed mostly male, including Ozaki Kouyou.]

[thetaintedsorrow]

It’s not flattery if it’s true.

[He totally means it, but a small part of him is curious about these other dead authors.]

Yeah? Well, not to brag, but I think the title of “prettiest mafioso” goes to yours truly.

[Akutagawa is a close second, but that shirt is a fashion disaster.]

Not that looks are all that matters. Being able to kick ass is also pretty impressive.