crowspace | I will grow my own trees while you follow the moon

[This is not what 'just getting it over with' looks like. This is what nervous stalling looks like, at least on Shuji's part, and it's not getting any better with time.

So faced with the choice between dying internally more with every passing second or make significant movement, Shuji screws his eyes shut and crosses the rest of the distance between them to kiss John. The briefest, most chaste kiss that has ever occurred.]

[ no, it definitely was not, and regardless of whatever john's purposes may have been in that--

that line of thought is short-circuited as shuji's the one to do just that. john feels shuji's mouth on his - so light, brief - before he's left to belatedly process what the hell had just happened. his expression having fallen in the moment of surprise (and ears coloring red), he straightens properly to blink. ]

That-

[ -that was too fast. but no, um. ]

[ no, no. ]

[ something more characteristically optimistic: ]

- Well, that could've been a lot worse, yeah?

[Even as quick as that kiss was, Shuji's face is still bright red. He could probably rival an electric blanket with the heat coming out of his cheeks right now.]

Y-yeah. No harm done. It's just, just a kiss.

[He's going to die.]

[ john... stares for just another second, before there's a scoff of laughter. ]

... You're gonna roast me with all that blushin' comin' off of you there, y'know.

[ not that he can actually feel that, but-

on a scale of 1-0, how much does shuji love being told nyaha your face is red. (his own has faded in record not-so-record timing, okay.) ]

[-100. It just makes him blush even more.]

Well excuse me for being embarrassed about kissing a guy I like!!

[...he may not have thought that sentence through completely.]

[ ... and now john can't believe he just said that, a rush of heat returning to his face. it probably rivals shuji's. john opens and closes his mouth once before he can properly formulate reply.

... it's-- definitely just shuji making some flippant comment, or he thinks he might be being lured into some sex joke, or it's just some prank to unknowingly poke fun at him. ... not a prank, necessarily, but "a guy i like (AS A FRIEND.)" <--- fixed it for you, shuji. ]

[ to combat this, john glances around very pointedly. ]

Pretty sure I'm the only one here, so nothin' to be embarrassed over. [ lamely spoken like he Doesn't Get It. ]

[Shuji has a moment before John responds to reflect on the words that just left his mouth.

It's a crush. He definitely said that he had a crush on John, and it's the truth. He can't look at his own feelings any other way, now that he's really looking at them: he has an embarrassing crush on John Becket. Honestly, he really should have said something before this...

And John's giving him an out. He could laugh it off. He could make an escape, and it'd be awkward for a while, but things would go back to normal, sooner or later. He likes their normal; their friendship is dear to him.

But he can't stand for John to misinterpret him like that. He absolutely can't pretend this is a joke at John's expense.]

John...

[Words are easy to misinterpret if you'd rather think that someone wasn't into you like that, or if you can't imagine the possibility of someone liking you romantically - unless there's no room whatsoever for doubt.

So Shuji sets his hands on John's shoulders and kisses him again, properly this time, and not at all forced by the mistletoe.]

[ ... that is definitely an answer. to what question, he didn't ask, but it's an answer. for sure this is the most embarrassing shit ever in that john cannot positively believe he's this red. he just doesn't do that for people, but now look - who's roasting who. and he can't believe he's not being the coolheaded, straightforward one here and that shuji's gotten the one up on him not once, but twice ]

[ there are a lot of things here to think about ]

[ he doesn't want to stop kissing him, not really. it's also embarrassing how bad he wants to keep kissing him. but john's too shocked to let it last more than a few seconds. ]

[ he does want to ask more dumb questions - "how long?" "why, for the love of fuck?" "NO JOKE?" but he opts for a somewhat less stupid (only in that it's not actively thought out), sort of response, however tentative: ]

... Are you- [ no, wait. ] ... Really?

Really.

[It's a dumb question, sure, but Shuji doesn't mind giving John the answer. John's blushing, and it's really cute, and Shuji kind of really wants to kiss him again, but - dumb questions and dumb answers first.

If only so Shuji can keep wearing this big dumb smile on his face.]

I'm pretty sure I've had a crush on you for... months now?

[Sometimes John isn't the perceptive one, between the two of them. But then again, Shuji didn't put words to his feelings until about three minutes ago.]

[ HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS, SHUJI!! ]

[ it's said so casually- john can't get any redder than he already is, so at least he has that going for him. he's internally wrestling for some meager control over the situation, what with being caught so damn off guard, and still failing by being so nakedly raw in his emotions. he tugs at a sleeve, picking over what to say to that. ]

[ he does manage a smile again, though. ]

... Could've said somethin' a lot earlier, y'know.

Sorry. Our friendship's important to me, so I didn't want to risk losing that.

[But, now that it's out in the open, now that John's smiling and not about to drop Shuji like a hot potato, he can be a little more honest. Starting with:]

Did you know that you're really cute?

Ohh, whatever.

[ hUffs... he'd like to remind him that this is a rarity, friend(?????? all right, they'll have to figure that one out, too), cherish it. but after a little shake of his head, he's getting back to beaming again and moving closer to shuji now (not that he'd ever stepped very far). ]

[ he leans forward a little bit, probably just shy of another kiss. ... then pulling away again and just. appreciating shuji's everything. ]

Still gonna be mad at you a bit 'bout that. [ but not really, judging by his stupid grin. ] But yeah, yeah, I get'cha.

Would it make you any less mad at me if I kissed you again?

[And if it wouldn't, such as if John isn't really mad, can he kiss John anyway?]

[ ... probably, lbr. ]

[ there's an agreeable exhale of laughter, but- ]

[ but john will better answer that himself. one of his hands lifts to gently tip shuji's jaw upwards, his arm falling about his waist. then he's pretty quck in leaning forward to press his mouth against shuji's. -- if only he could stop smiling dumbly, ah. ]

[ looks like someone's been a little eager to kiss shuji, okay. ]

[They're both smiling dumbly, it's okay. And Shuji's just as eager to return the kiss, setting his hands on John's shoulders and leaning into him.

He really, really wishes he had done this earlier. But they can make up for lost time.]

I will grow my own trees while you follow the moon

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