early deathday post, open to his cr from anywhere, game or psl

[goatsongs]

[Starting around the 15th of October, until the 22nd, Chuuya starts acting weirdly.

He doesn't want to be alone, ever. He won't go as far as physically clinging to you, but he'll make up excuses for joining you in whatever you're doing, even if it's as boring as watching grass grow. He's not as argumentative or bristly as he usually is.

He overeats, to the point of being bloated, and if he's questioned on it he gives a pained expression and changes the subject.

He doesn't drink alcohol. Not even one drop.

Whether you're in the National Library, or the City, or Yokohama, or anywhere - this is all alarming behavior for Chuuya. It might be time to ask him if something's going on.

Or you could just yell at him for bothering you for the third time in as many days, that's fine too, but don't be too surprised if you bring him to extremely uncharacteristic tears.]

Comments

[goatsongs]

Do they, really?

[He's not at all talking about the movie.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

Yes.

[ the way she says it holds no room for doubt. it can take a long time and the path to get there can be agonizing, but— if nothing else, nothing lasts forever. not even suffering. ]

Can you wait it out?

[goatsongs]

...Probably not. I won't still exist when the need for me is gone, you know.

[And everyone would like the Taints to disappear sooner rather than later, even if it means they'll disappear too.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ quietly hooks her ankle a bit more deliberately over the curve of his leg, casually proprietary. after a pause, she says seemingly unprompted: ]

There's a literary award named after you, you know.

[goatsongs]

I heard.

[First established by his ex, and then another one made later.]

So?

[ghostfromthemachine]

[ slowly, like she's trying to feel her way around what she's trying to say here: ]

So you're still needed, in a sense. And you always will be.

[goatsongs]

'Needed in a sense' isn't that same as being conscious and around.

[He understands what she's going for here, or at least he thinks he does.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

...mm.

[ the sound is deeply bitter. ]

Some of us do prefer you that way, though.

[goatsongs]

...Can't imagine why.

[Kaiko's taste isn't uniformly terrible, because she likes Miyazawa Kenji. If it weren't for that, he'd seriously consider whether she just has awful taste in poets.]

[ghostfromthemachine]

Will it help you to hear the honest answer to that, at the moment?

[goatsongs]

...It might.

[He can't say with certainty what will or won't help, but there's a chance it might make him feel a little bit better. Or at least, a little more present in the here and now.]