Sakaguchi Ango (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
devilsboringness) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crowspace2017-06-25 05:05 pm
devilsboringness) wrote in crowspace2017-06-25 05:05 pm
For bandagedheart.
[Of course, the attempted arson of Yokohama's biggest library makes the news. It's a huge library - not as big as the National Library, but certainly a sizable collection of books. It's 'attempted' arson because the fire was noticed quickly and put out before it could destroy more than a small section of the library.
The news reports the time of the arson, four o'clock in the morning, but doesn't specifically mention that this was long after library hours had ended - and that it would be strange for someone to be inside the library at the time, like there was.
Perhaps it's not surprising that someone walks in the detective agency the next day.]
Yooo. Got an arson job I'm looking to get detective-d.
[He looks like an asshole motorcyclist - leather jacket, fingerless gloves, and sunglasses that he's not going to take off when inside. He's not actually a motorcyclist, but he gives off that kind of air, all confidence and swagger.]
The news reports the time of the arson, four o'clock in the morning, but doesn't specifically mention that this was long after library hours had ended - and that it would be strange for someone to be inside the library at the time, like there was.
Perhaps it's not surprising that someone walks in the detective agency the next day.]
Yooo. Got an arson job I'm looking to get detective-d.
[He looks like an asshole motorcyclist - leather jacket, fingerless gloves, and sunglasses that he's not going to take off when inside. He's not actually a motorcyclist, but he gives off that kind of air, all confidence and swagger.]
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[Don't ask him to write a paper about how it works or anything, but he knows they exist.]
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[There's his poorly thought out theory. Hey, it could be plausible.]
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[He'd rather not, that sounds like a pain for people who don't like the government keeping track of them.]
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[Of course Dazai would rather go take a nap now that he knows there's no motorcycle. But he promised to help. Sort of.]
Like, for instance, asking you about any unfamiliar faces that began frequenting the library days before the incident?
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I don't work in the parts of the library that visitors are allowed into. And I'd definitely notice a new face in my wing, there's only about forty-five of us. Counting the cat.
[The cat is a legitimate government employee.]
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[Welp, that about exhausts Dazai's ideas. Some detective he is. But to be fair, there's not exactly a whole lot they can do without more information. Tapping his chin, Dazai hums as he tries to think of his next course of action.]
Are you sure it wasn't one of your coworkers? Did you piss anyone off lately, hmm?
[He wouldn't be surprised. The guy seems like he could easily rub someone the wrong way.]
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[He sounds proud of this fact.]
-But, I'm pretty sure none of my coworkers can teleport, and it'd be suicide for one of us to set fire to the library while we're still in it. And even my Dazai's not going to kill the rest of us just to have suicide by fire.
[Not while he has friends in there. And Akutagawa.]
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[He's really not helping at all at this point. He's here to kill time and maybe solve a mystery if things work out. He's also still intrigued that there's someone else named Dazai out there, and he can't help but want to meet the guy sometime.]
This other Dazai sounds quite interesting! But anyway, maybe the culprit had a teleportation ability and a really bad mean streak! You know, the only way to find out who it was might just be to wait around and see if they return to the scene of the crime! They didn't succeed in burning the place down, after all.
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It's not actually better the second time.
[Even if you do get to do the weird stuff.]
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[Dazai that's not how alcohol works. You're not helping at all.]
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That sounds like a fantastic idea.
[Ango why.]
Got any favorites? I haven't been in the city that long.
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[Dazai grins from ear to ear. Now that's what he wants to hear! He takes Ango by the arm and drags him out of the library, whistling happily as he leads him down the street to one of his favorite local bars.
It's a hole in the wall kind of place where Dazai knows the bartender, and he orders himself a whiskey.]
Order whatever you want! My treat!
[Listen, a little booze could help them figure this out!!]
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[Ango orders a large quantity of sake, and once they both have their drinks, raises his glass in a toast.]
To solving mysteries?
[It doesn't matter what they toast to as long as they end up having a lot of booze.]
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[Dazai downs his whiskey in one go, not too worried about getting drunk. He's got a high tolerance for alcohol, and he prides himself on being able to drink just about anyone under the table. He orders another whiskey before turning to Ango, suddenly filled with nostalgia of when he used to drink with his Ango.]
So, I have to know about this other Dazai. It's not exactly a common name!
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[He'd figure anyone would have heard the name before, but... apparently not.]
We've been friends for a while. That guy doesn't have any stops between calling himself a genius author and running off to die somewhere because he's 'no longer human'. He's a handful, that's for sure, but he's not a bad guy.
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[Dazai orders himself another drink, resting his chin on his hand. This is a lot more fun than actually doing his job.]
What about the other people you work with? Regale me with stories!
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[Sorry, Dazai, there's no other author who makes sense to mention first.]
The three of us, we're the school of irresponsibility and decadents. Troublemakers through and through.
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[His signature smile fades a bit. There's not a lot of subjects that bother Dazai, but the mention of Odasaku brings back unpleasant memories. He misses his old friend dearly, though no one would guess as much from his seemingly carefree attitude.
He downs another glass of whiskey, forcing a grin.]
Sounds fun! I don't suppose you know anyone named Chuuya, do you?
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Ango elects not to comment on that part.]
Nakahara Chuuya, short, loud, constantly drunk? That sound familiar?
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[He and Chuuya have an...interesting relationship, to say the least. Former partners in crime turned rivals and (occasionally) lovers; not exactly conventional, but it is what it is. He wonders if this other Chuuya would hate him on principle.]
And Atsushi? The one I know is quite adorable!
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[...just not gonna mention the split personality issue, since it'd be hard to explain without going into more detail than he wants to go into yet.]
So, if you're a Dazai, then what do you think about Akutagawa?
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[Nevermind the fact that Dazai only makes Akutagawa's bad disposition even worse.]
You know, you're much more outgoing than the other Ango! I like it.
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You're a lot less obsessive than my Dazai can get, at least when it comes to- [he pitches his voice up a little higher when he's making fun of his Dazai] Akutagawa-sensei, practically a god, Akutagawa knows my name and I could just die from happiness~
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[Okay, maybe Akutagawa isn't that much of a fanboy, but still.]
Oh! What about Ranpo?
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[Pause, as Ango remembers that they were nominally here to solve a mystery.]
He'd be insufferable if he solved an actual mystery, so I didn't ask him.
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[This entire situation is just downright bizarre, but Dazai is too buzzed to question it much.]
And what about you, hmm? Just who is this other Ango?
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[Said as if it was not an entirely stupid self-made title. He's very proud of it, thank you.]
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[Dazai is fairly certain that both of them are buzzed by now, which is not really helping them make any progress towards solving their little mystery, but hey, they're both relaxed and having fun, right? Why ruin it with work? ]
And just what kind of things did you do to earn that title, Mr. Grand Delinquent?
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Oh, lots of things. Running betting scams, getting into arguments with more politicians and 'respectable' people than I could name, taking every drug that was available at the time... Basically everything I've written has been censured by somebody or other. If nobody's going to complain about it, it's hardly even worth doing.
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[Dazai flashes him a playful little grin as he circles his empty glass with the tip of his finger. He'd also done his fair share of crime during his time in the Mafia, but he won't disclose that just yet. You must be friendship level six to unlock Dazai's tragic backstory. He will, however, pry into Ango's life as much as he possibly can.]
Anyone else you work with that's at least somewhat interesting?
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'At least somewhat interesting', in this library full of weirdos? I'd have a harder time coming up with somebody totally boring. Even Shiga's not boring, he's just got a stick up his ass.
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[Dazai is just buzzed enough to punctuate his statement with a wink, his glass of whiskey seemingly never ending.]
Are any of them attractive, hmm?
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[Ango's self-esteem will never be in danger of being too low, that's for certain.]
Depends what kind of guys you're into, but there's somebody for everybody. Unless you're straight.
[Dazai Osamu does not give off straight vibes.]
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[Dazai isn't straight in the least because he swings both ways, albeit he seeks out men far more often these days, it seems.]
You're quite handsome yourself! Of course, I don't have one specific type. Variety is the spice of life!
[Basically Dazai is a bit of a playboy.]
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Well, for pretty men, I don't think anybody's competing with Ozaki Kouyou...
[Who is definitely 100% a dude.]
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[As if Dazai wasn't blunt enough, the booze flowing through him just adds a whole other layer of nosy.]
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[He is not a pure virginal flower and it's obvious that he's joking.]
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Just Dazai, Odasaku, and Chuuya, so three of them. That's positively chaste, for me.