Ryudo Issei (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
unknownrival) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
crowspace2012-02-02 12:03 pm
unknownrival) wrote in crowspace2012-02-02 12:03 pm
[DDDverse.]
I'm worthless.
I have neither any traits of great value - every insult flung my way is based in fact - nor any reason for anyone to care for me. After all, I can't, when at the back or forefront of my mind is the knowledge that my mind is not inviolate - this mind and this body have already been used too many times at the whim of a faceless community. I cannot trust my own feelings to be real. I've given up on the idea of loving someone.
...Caring for me only leads to pain. I'd sooner be alone than hurt someone dear or even supposedly dear. I have to push you away if you get too close to me.
I am no longer in control of my body; it means nothing to me. If I were to use it up to protect you - you are worth something, you are good and noble, how could I possibly complain over dying for you?
Really... I don't care what happens to me now at all.
I have neither any traits of great value - every insult flung my way is based in fact - nor any reason for anyone to care for me. After all, I can't, when at the back or forefront of my mind is the knowledge that my mind is not inviolate - this mind and this body have already been used too many times at the whim of a faceless community. I cannot trust my own feelings to be real. I've given up on the idea of loving someone.
...Caring for me only leads to pain. I'd sooner be alone than hurt someone dear or even supposedly dear. I have to push you away if you get too close to me.
I am no longer in control of my body; it means nothing to me. If I were to use it up to protect you - you are worth something, you are good and noble, how could I possibly complain over dying for you?
Really... I don't care what happens to me now at all.
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